Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML
Today, my coworker was going on and on about how her son was nice and got good grades but that she needed to find him a therapist because he's too shy in class, and how she didn't want her friends to think badly of her. She's a counselor. I sat in silence for almost an hour, because all I could think was, "WTF? Poor kid." FML
Today, I was at church with some friends and our counselor, who had recently came back from Taiwan. I was born there and love to visit, so I immediately exclaimed, "How lucky!" A few seconds of awkward silence later, he said, "I was visiting my dad who was just diagnosed with cancer." FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
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Top comments
vucui 21
It could always be worse.
ImGucci 8
He could have said "AIDS" or "******"
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Comments (99)
jskains 6
It frightens me that you are a medical school professor (not your son, right?) and yet your FML is awkwardly written. I am wondering if the lives truly ****** are your students. :/
Ari1337 15
its pretty clear to me. your comment was worded more awkwardly.
Neesalun 20
That's cute! Good thing it wasn't a vulgar word!
xSkittle 16
Oh my..
Ins0mau 20
A kid gleefully saying "cancer" is cute to you? It's one if the developed world's biggest killers. Like them smiling and yelling car crash.
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
People are just desensitised to words like cancer and malaria. If he had said something like "yay, apartheid!" the reaction might have been different.
Opheliae 22
I don't really understand this FML...
mrsVoltzie57 12
If people say anything just tell them he is really into horoscopes!
worldclassrager 39
Just hope you don't have to give a shot to someone who screams profanities....
Ziggy122 15
Would you rather he scream obscenities at the top of his lungs?
Tacohazzas 4
omg.
EmmaMK 35
Well done on getting around a nightmare of a childcare issue. So many people would of given up. I hope you remember to write it in their baby book and remind them in later life
Isa_fml 20
Look on the bright side, maybe he'll be a doctor someday. :)
Thorzix 23
I see nothing bad about that, it's not a swear, not anything sexually transmissible. The hell is wrong with it? Your kid is learning more words, be proud.
Shade1982 20
Although I don't see anything really wrong with this, I wonder at your reasoning? Why is something sexually transmittable worse than cancer? Herpes is easily curable for example, and I somehow doubt this is worse than cancer. Cancer can also very easily be used as a swear too by the way...
Thorzix 23
Because if you discuss anything sexual near a kid young enough to have a very limited vocabulary, it's pretty damn wrong. Medical stuff is good though, he's going to be educated lol. I've also never heard Cancer being used as a bad word. O.o