Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML
Today, my coworker was going on and on about how her son was nice and got good grades but that she needed to find him a therapist because he's too shy in class, and how she didn't want her friends to think badly of her. She's a counselor. I sat in silence for almost an hour, because all I could think was, "WTF? Poor kid." FML
Today, I was at church with some friends and our counselor, who had recently came back from Taiwan. I was born there and love to visit, so I immediately exclaimed, "How lucky!" A few seconds of awkward silence later, he said, "I was visiting my dad who was just diagnosed with cancer." FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
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Top comments
vucui 21
It could always be worse.
ImGucci 8
He could have said "AIDS" or "******"
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Comments (99)
mesahus 5
OMG! Your 5 year old said cancer! Now your life's screwed and miserable!
justmeCee 16
How old is your kid?
Poetaster 10
Professor rule #1... Never bring your 20 year old child to work...
RandomRaybay 13
Be thankful that's the only word he picked up there!
Evil_Wench 16
If I'd paid however many thousands of pounds to attend med school, I'd be pissed off to have a screaming child in my lectures, regardless of what they were screaming. F your students life.
really_meow 7
I had a little cousin who did shit like that up until he was 5 or 6 years old. Every tine he learnt a new word he felt the need to screech it out in a face melting fashion while looking thrilled with himself. It was hysterical but i felt terrible for his parents.... Yikes
NakedPixels 15
Sounds like OP's son might be autistic.
PaulaXx 2
I live in the Netherlands, and the teens (and some adults too) have gotten the insane idea in their head to curse with the word "kanker" which means "cancer". They use it in the way you use "****" (although we also use that) and a lot more ways; Kankerkind - cancerchild Kankeren - cancering Cancer this, cancer that. Always they use cancer... I cant really give a good example, because our language has a somewhat different structure, but it is so horrible and wrong! I love my country, but I'm so ashamed of the fact that we use the word "cancer" in that sort of way. And as far as I know is the Netherlands the only country that uses the word this way. I am ashamed of my generation although a lot of people from holland agree with me, and there areall sorts of campaigns against it, which is a good thing, but it isnt always helping so much. Long story short, your son doesnt understand the meaning of the word yet, so no one will blame him. Dutch teens know the meaning but they dont care, atleast not until somene close to them gets cancer, because then no one is allowed to use that word according to them...
ni0ve 9
...what am i missing?
kder0aeon 9
kinda confusing if you don't disclose his age....