Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my half-year performance review. My boss arrived 15 minutes late, paid basically no attention to my presentation, and left 30 minutes early. I guess I’ll go fuck myself then. FML
Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
Today, my supervisor was in a leadership meeting pulling random calls for quality. Mine was chosen. He got excited and told them my stats and how I put him to shame with how I drive my team, that I'm the best and this call is going to be amazing. I was then written up for arguing with a customer. FML
Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?" I said yes. He told me, "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML
Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML
Today, my boss told me I may lose my job due to underperformance. I was shocked, as he'd previously mentioned that I was performing well, and that I was safe from the current company wide layoffs. I asked him what I need to improve on. He said that my instant messages to him are sometimes too long. FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
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Top comments
AirBusDriver 23
Apparently he feels you are cut out for Management within your organization. Congrats!
BI4ze 17
I like your boss. Sounds like a terribly cruel and funny person. I like that.
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Comments (60)
ComoEsJuan 24
I think your boss meant to put that under the category of "anal communication".
gracehi 33
This is a work performance evaluation I got in a dream once: Grace is the spawn of Satan. She is constantly initiating fights with her coworkers and imprisons orangutans in her car. Mine's better. :P But then, yours was real, so I guess you win anyway.
Kazze 31
... Therapy is a good thing. You should try it.
gracehi 33
Because I have dreams when I go to sleep? I guess my dog needs therapy too.
wvcheesehead 13
While worded hurtfully, maybe you need to work on the tone of voice you use with co-workers..
WasabiMars 21
This is where you work on your attitude OP.
The_Avatar 22
Hey its totally possible op does act like an asshole haha
dreamful_artist 14
Well if it was the truth...
sstahpp 33
Well..acting like an asshole has nothing to do with oral communication :/ so FYL.
Kazze 31
Unless you orally communicate like an asshole. If you talk to everyone in a snarky, condescending tone (not saying OP does that), I think it qualifies as being an asshole.
sstahpp 33
Acting like one does not necessarily mean he said something to his colleagues.
clickme 17
I fail to see the issue? If you are doing your job it's bound to require you to act like an asshole at least occasionally
alexandrarae 13
I would stop acting like an asshole then.
Araj_Hs 19
Ask him if he wanted to lick one.