Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had my half-year performance review. My boss arrived 15 minutes late, paid basically no attention to my presentation, and left 30 minutes early. I guess I’ll go fuck myself then. FML
Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
Today, my supervisor was in a leadership meeting pulling random calls for quality. Mine was chosen. He got excited and told them my stats and how I put him to shame with how I drive my team, that I'm the best and this call is going to be amazing. I was then written up for arguing with a customer. FML
Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?" I said yes. He told me, "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML
Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML
Today, my boss told me I may lose my job due to underperformance. I was shocked, as he'd previously mentioned that I was performing well, and that I was safe from the current company wide layoffs. I asked him what I need to improve on. He said that my instant messages to him are sometimes too long. FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
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Top comments
AirBusDriver 23
Apparently he feels you are cut out for Management within your organization. Congrats!
BI4ze 17
I like your boss. Sounds like a terribly cruel and funny person. I like that.
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Comments (60)
BI4ze 17
I like your boss. Sounds like a terribly cruel and funny person. I like that.
mellajella 14
Or maybe OP isn't a good worker? Maybe OP should shape up.
Retaheki 27
No, the boss was being literal, OP makes great fart sounds.
wct1188 15
Truth hurts.
Mixed_steel 23
I think your boss is just a tad lacking in oral communications, and proved it with that comment!
chrishaaansen 13
or maybe he has a sense of humor
False_Stupidity 42
Written communications you mean. The boss wrote the comment, not said it necessarily.
musoboy 22
Or maybe OP actually does act like an arsehole.
devildog562 33
At least he didn't say you taste like an asshole, that would be awkward.
brandoneyez1 25
Your boss doesn't appear to understand the category right. The asshole is clearly your boss.
nickaa827 13
don't know why people disliked this
brandoneyez1 25
I don't either. The boss was an asshole that was the point. Usually if you dislike it's cause you disagree.. So are they trying to tell me they think OP is an asshole.. Or maybe I'm the asshole.?
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Don't ever try to figure out why something was downvoted, there is no answer. The FML community is as fickle as they come. Every comment left is at their mercy.
danceinconverse 25
That's pretty unprofessional of your boss, and I don't know you but you may want to work on your own behaviour if he wrote down something that harsh...
gearhead369 20
Sounds like your boss has that in common with you then! I can't believe how unprofessional some bosses are
AirBusDriver 23
Apparently he feels you are cut out for Management within your organization. Congrats!
J483 12
Well, do you?
Attacksloth 33
I was about to ask the exact same thing...
Adrian_Robber 6
Well he acts like a dic*
SystemofaBlink41 27
*Bic. I hate people who act like pencils/pens, too!
Smooth_Criminal 24
what is the point of censoring the last letter?