Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had my half-year performance review. My boss arrived 15 minutes late, paid basically no attention to my presentation, and left 30 minutes early. I guess I’ll go fuck myself then. FML
Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
Today, my supervisor was in a leadership meeting pulling random calls for quality. Mine was chosen. He got excited and told them my stats and how I put him to shame with how I drive my team, that I'm the best and this call is going to be amazing. I was then written up for arguing with a customer. FML
Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?" I said yes. He told me, "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML
Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML
Today, my boss told me I may lose my job due to underperformance. I was shocked, as he'd previously mentioned that I was performing well, and that I was safe from the current company wide layoffs. I asked him what I need to improve on. He said that my instant messages to him are sometimes too long. FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
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Top comments
AirBusDriver 23
Apparently he feels you are cut out for Management within your organization. Congrats!
BI4ze 17
I like your boss. Sounds like a terribly cruel and funny person. I like that.
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Comments (60)
squarecircles 13
"Acts like an asshole but is a darn good worker"
ethanbrinkman 11
How inquisitive. But who knows? Maybe you do act like one.
Freda92 12
Do you get to fill his performance review? You'd know what to put under "written communication". ;)
theRonin 18
Lmao! I would take that as a compliment!
DaRito 25
Well, maybe OP is an asshole. People don't just get called that for no reason out of the blue.
HWICUNow 10
Ass long ass you don't look like one, I guess.
tehdarkness 21
I'm sure a lot Of people have been in you position, but instead of getting the straight simple truth it's sugar coated. It would say something like: individual struggles with authority and possesses a hostile verbal demeanor.
fabcade 14
actually what your boss did was unprofessional and should be reported to HR
melooters 11
I actually died laughing
Joshawott 21
Stop acting like an asshole then.