Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML
Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML
Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML
Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, at work in a call center, I went into my locker to get my pain pills from a recent surgery. When I opened the bottle, half my pills spread all over the floor. My boss walked by and said, "I knew it!" FML
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Top comments
randomname0151 4
Wow, that's really awful. Hope you're ok.
Kitastropheee 12
Why are you guys hitting the you deserve it button? She doesn't deserve that at all! No one does!
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Comments (146)
tootsie68 22
Aww I am really sorry, that is very painful
MrLefty 8
Sounds like a pretty crappy situation
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Falcon....Punch!!!!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Damn it, 13. I'm going to break your left hand and make you Mr. Righty.
MrLefty 8
Oh c'mon I felt like making a pun.
DaDezza244 31
FYL Oh god, that is hugely embarrassing. Good luck with your situation OP and oh how awkward for the customer
Mahtari 19
That's a terrible mental image.
Revan501 15
Man that's some bad luck and timing.
AwkwardHaole808 16
Wow, that's horrible! But don't worry, I'm sure that once you explain it to them, they'll understand.
illmatic2 16
I can't believe people are still using this pun.
Kitastropheee 12
Why are you guys hitting the you deserve it button? She doesn't deserve that at all! No one does!
cherry72 13
That was my 1st thought too. How insensitive must you be to hit the deserve button?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Trolls will press it for any and no reason. Also, people going for the "You Deserve It" badge. And people make up silly reasons that the OP deserves it. "YDI for having an ovarian cyst!", etc.
Sanch101 7
I too thought that. You have to be seriously messed up to think anyone deserves such a thing to happen to them.
Faithlynn816 11
Was thinking the same thing, how could anyone possibly deserve that!
Kaitlyne Townsend 12
true, now almost 2000 people say she deserved it... WTF I could understand if 1/2 people miss-clicked but not 2000
the_true_batman 10
To release everything? Including the Kraken? Good thing I'm land-locked.
whostolemylama 12
I hope you're okay. In before sh*ty comments. Meant to be a pun :-/ . I no witty like Perdix.
Grimmerie 31
*inb4 If you're gonna use it, use it right.