Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, when I logged onto Facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
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Top comments
catchyscreename 0
Oh. DAMN you totally walked into that one.
andyn 0
YDI for posting lyrics as your facebook status you ******* twat.
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Comments (233)
Anonchick 0
YDI for not being able to get her off after two years u should be able to figure it out at least once. also, i'm going to have to confiscate your man card for not being able to pleasure your woman and for posting an emo status update.
carrot89 0
I agree with #81. Going onto Facebook and wallowing in your status is pathetic. But your ex is hilarious.
Bree16 0
that is kinda funny but im sry that must suck
Fred_Burroughs 0
YDI for posting Blue October lyrics. Get better taste in music.
Fred_Burroughs 0
Oh and I'm fairly certain that you can only click "like" on the original post, not the posts that come after. So more than likely your Mom was clicking "like" on your song lyrics, not your ex's post.
theUnnamed 0
Honestly i think your ex has a great sense of humor. I feel for you cause of the break up and all but that's really funny. Take solstice in the fact that she admitted to you that she didn't have to fake an ******. Don't take things like that so seriously, you kinda left yourself open for it
RhymePrime 7
LOL. Thank you for the laugh. You are inadequate
dan81892 2
wow you just got royally OWNED!
janeb_fml 0
Um, yes you can
kinkyboots 0
You can only like original posts. and that's a pretty fine comeback, you've got to admit. tbh, ydi for posting that on facebook.