Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, when I logged onto Facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
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Top comments
catchyscreename 0
Oh. DAMN you totally walked into that one.
andyn 0
YDI for posting lyrics as your facebook status you ******* twat.
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Comments (233)
just_for_lols 0
ummm.... does anyone else notice that those lyrics are from The Red Jumpsuit Apparartus?? As far as I know, they were the original...
Lolzords 11
Nooope.. That song's by Blue October.
kaieleigh 0
well 98% of women don't ****** it happens sometimes
pizzazombie 0
haha I totally agree with 81!
buttonface 0
Ydi. Fakin it is no fun for a woman
J1bbl3 3
well now you know not to be so emo on face book... and knowing is half the battle, GO JOE!!!
buzzerbeeeeee 0
that's why you don't wallow in self pity on facebook.
Seems2BBadLuck 0
don't worry about. shes obviously not the women your going to marry so dont get all sad and depressed bout it.
QWERTYCommander 5
YDI for posting song lyrics as your status. I hate it when people pull that shit. My older brother did the same thing (with different lyrics) when his GF broke up with him. I replied to him with "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" and submitted it to Failbook. When I see people post song lyrics in their statuses, I die a little.
xNephilim 19
Yes you can. You can like almost everything on facebook.
Spike720 1
Caring mother you have...least the song is decent,