Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, when I logged onto Facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
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Top comments
catchyscreename 0
Oh. DAMN you totally walked into that one.
andyn 0
YDI for posting lyrics as your facebook status you ******* twat.
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Comments (233)
Ikura 4
you did three things wrong here. 1. you used song lyrics to express your emotions, seriously, how emo are you? 2. you expressed your self-pity on your facebook status, attention ***** much? 3. you used lyrics as your facebook status, not are you a lame wallowing imbecile, but you are lazy and uncreative about it
bigbinga47 0
1.dont be a pussy next time. 2.if she says something like that again, skin her alive.
PhinsGirl 0
FYL, but points for listening to my favorite band!!
PhinsGirl 0
I saw them last Sunday! And I met Ryan, who inspired me 2 years ago to play violin! It was epic!
benzskaterdude 0
HAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, 1. i have to agree shame on you for listening to such terrible, terrible music 2. hahahahahahaha dude learn how to please a girl
DynamicDave 11
Love the song, but sorry dude. YDI for putting song lyrics as your facebook status.
Laughing_is_cool 4
lol ouch
roxygirl2494 0
lmfao that's freaking hilarious
loveyahun 0
Aw...I feel your pain with the breakup. No offense but your mother and friends sound like pricks...
haj_fml 4
I wish someone posted that on Lamebook.