Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, when I logged onto Facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
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Top comments
catchyscreename 0
Oh. DAMN you totally walked into that one.
andyn 0
YDI for posting lyrics as your facebook status you ******* twat.
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Comments (233)
Peow09 0
Yes you CAN like comments? Or do you mean comments to the status message? Coz that you def CANT Like.
andytheCC 0
If she never told you, she can't talk shit. Communication. Delete the comment from your wall, and post something sarcastic about communication if it's the case.
Plumppotato 3
agreed. whos blue october?
YouGotPwnt 0
This is what you get for being a drama queen. Wake the **** up and suck it up - this is reality. You obviously know you have ur ex on Facebook, you obviously know her and other ppl have a high possibility of seeing it and figuring it out what it's all about; why post it when it won't change anything? You tried to get ppl to sympathize with you and possibly resulting in bashin on your ex, instead it backfired and even ur mom decided to side with her. YDI, you attention *****. Future advice:Next time if you're gonna be emo, don't let the whole of facebook know, or at least do it in a private note or a public note that can't be commented on.
9az00 0
damn kids with your facepage and myuninverse.
magichateball 0
OP, need some aloe for that burn? YDI for being a self pitying attention *****
doicha27 0
YDI for being an emo-******-pussy-bitch
Grndslmhttr3 0
YDI for having your mom as a friend on facebook, and for setting music lyrics as your status.
molitov 0
facebook.. not the place to announce items like this.. sorry ure ex is funny
MrBadLuck 0
It's called unfriending the bitch then posting pictures of her naked online.