Today, I asked my son about girls and stuff and he told me he’s probably never going to date. I asked him why, and it turns out he’s afraid of being sent to jail if she makes any sort of false allegation against him. I told him not all women are like that, he told me I’m either naive or lying. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I caught my son sneaking a woman out of his room at 5 a.m. After she was gone, I started with the questions, one of which was, “Well, what’s her name?” His response was, “No idea, I only met her last week.” I’ve raised one of “those guys.” FML
Today, my teen son came home in a terrible mood because his girlfriend won’t listen to him. I thought he meant conversation-wise, but he meant she refused to obey his commands about what clothes and makeup she wears, who she can talk to, where she can go, and so forth. My son is an asshole. FML
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
Today, I’m not sure how to explain to my naive daughter that her new boyfriend is playing her. She insists that he’s just shy and that’s the reason he demands that no one knows about them, and pretends not to know her when other people are around. She thinks them having a secret is “romantic”. FML
Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML
Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML
Today, my son is refusing to find a girlfriend because, as he puts it, “Them woke bitches just want my money.” He lives alone, has a good job and lots of friends, but he never asks anyone out, and when women ask him out, he practically hisses at them like a feral cat. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, my son brought his new girlfriend home. I took him aside and hugged him, reassuring him that I loved and accepted him no matter his sexual preference. He looked at me confused and asked what I meant. His girl was obviously trans, but he had no idea. I didn’t know he didn’t know. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
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Top comments
Jendaflooid 6
Maybe you should have tried parenting, instead of letting the foulest dregs of the internet handle it? Like, it's too late now. He's been soaking in the excrement of 4chan for over a decade. You might as well cut your losses and try for another one.
Justkidding100 41
sounds like a convenient excuse for someone no one is dating anyway. maybe work on his self esteem and respecting women. any idiot knows that you can obviously go out with a women without her making any accusations. you don't even need to even go anywhere private.
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Comments (10)
Jendaflooid 6
Maybe you should have tried parenting, instead of letting the foulest dregs of the internet handle it? Like, it's too late now. He's been soaking in the excrement of 4chan for over a decade. You might as well cut your losses and try for another one.
Justkidding100 41
sounds like a convenient excuse for someone no one is dating anyway. maybe work on his self esteem and respecting women. any idiot knows that you can obviously go out with a women without her making any accusations. you don't even need to even go anywhere private.
Thaylok 17
Your son read FML, by any chance?
Brightside86 30
Just tell him as long as he isn't wealthy he'll be fine, and to not stick his dick into crazy.
Graeme David 12
but if you do it will be the best night you ever regret.
Nikki 17
Also tell him not to rape anyone and he’ll be much less likely to have accusations against him
Yudith 25
Very important, the "do not rape" part. Also, even though they cannot make any allegations, it's not a good idea to try mating with an animal.
Hangryko 31
I really hope he's not reading into incel groups and/or MGTOW.
RichardPencil 30
Just make secret videotapes every time you have sex and you'll be just fine. That should protect you from any false claims.
joseph_rod_05 14
dude i’m a gay man and ik it’s def not like that
IHaveThePower 16
Does your son have an anxiety problem? Sometimes anxiety manifests as a fixation on the worst possible thing happening.
oldgeezeegamer 6
Smart boy
1known 31
If women were like that how does he explain that there are couples around him.