Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner, I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML
Today, I thought nobody was around so I meowed loud as fuck but actually there was some dude right behind me on a bike. Yeah, I know that's my fault, but… FML
Today, I rode my new bike for the first time. I made it less than 100 feet from my driveway before I was almost flattened by someone driving on the wrong side of the road. Upside: I managed to get out of the way. Downside: I did it by slamming my brand new, expensive bike into a wall. FML
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Top comments
plutosaplanet 0
i beeped at people as they pulled out of my condo complex almost hitting me. i dont care where you live, if you drive like an idiot im going to let you know.
music_girl23 0
"i honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled"... holy crap. calm down. maybe you should look into anger management programs... he's on a bike what do you expect.
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Comments (79)
music_girl23 0
"i honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled"... holy crap. calm down. maybe you should look into anger management programs... he's on a bike what do you expect.
Leahbabe15 0
Next time it will be "I honked, I cursed, I screamed, but the kid on the trike needed to die..."
cheyluvsturtles 30
They meant a motorcycle I think. not a bicyclist.
bikrnick 0
If a car is stuck behind a cyclist then the cyclist SHOULD move over. But usually, cyclists try to stay on roads with PLENTY of passing space! :)
ndiesal 0
Bikes belong on the sidewalk. They hold traffic up, are hard to see, and if you happen to innocently hit one, you're in deep shit usually
nhaberma 0
u asshole I'm a hardcore biker and it's people like you that make me want to abolish cars how ******* hard is it to go around bikers are actually working and all you have to do is push down on a peddle you lazy dick
cyberhoy 3
People who bike on the roads are ******* cocksuckers I dont care if its illegal I bike on the side walk. The only bikes that should be allowed on the roads are those 80 mph ones
nhaberma 0
try going now the continental decide on a side walk going 60 mph than well talk anyways I've been in countless situations where I'll get stuck behind a car that's going slower than me btw I'd like to see you say that to my fae
birds_fml 7
@OP: congrats. You've obviously always been an asshole, but now one of your neighbors knows it. I don't see how this changes things, except to maybe look at your behavior and realize what a dick you are.
cyberhoy 3
i remember that part and assumed that they were talking about motorbikes and I'm like "Yeah it makes sence that they have equal rights on roads as cars" a few years later i found out they meant bicycles
naneppi 0
Okay, you know what? Maybe all cyclists can't reach speeds of 55 MPH, while still having to take the same route as you do. Totally their fault for being incapable of matching a motor vehicle's speed. Do you *have* a driver's license? Did you even read the driver's test manual? Did you perhaps skip over the section that covers cyclists and pedestrians? The section that notes how you should exercise caution around both? I'm sure honking and cursing at frail elderly persons who can't get across the street in time for the light to change is completely fine in your book, too. I do hope you don't get to drive for much longer. The road doesn't need any more of your kind.
sadistmonkey 19
At first I was wondering why everyone was clicking YDI because I misunderstood it to mean that it was a motorcycle going 20 below the speed limit, which is clearly stupid. Then I realized that he was talking about a bicycle... Can't really do much about a bike going 20 below. The bike could've and should've moved over and even used the sidewalk (even if it's illegal to do so).
mps1969 8
Did the OP mean bicyclist or a Motorcycle ? It makes a big difference who was wrong on this .
Person1233 13
You make this sound like he was in the middle of the street ... Why did you not call the nearest old person's home to see if someone broke out and is using your neighbor's house for shelter?!
CyclonePsycho 1
Whoa, relax there, OP. Unless you were driving to the hospital because your head was bleeding profusely from the ear, then you need to just take a deep breath and move on. Bicyclists are part of everyday life. The sooner you learn to deal with them, the sooner everyone goes home happy.