Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML
Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the third time." I had no idea. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML
Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML
Today, I was visiting friends in the country, and the property next to theirs has cows. Bored, I walked over to the fence and looked at a cow, who trundled over to the other side of the fence. I then saw the farmer staring at me and for some reason I said, "Just saying hi to your cow!" FML
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
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Top comments
shrimpygymnast 9
call her a cow. thats an insult from where i am from in england
Fiskerz 0
Pretty sure it's a insult everywhere.. Go to the gym!
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Comments (233)
1JDub 6
Wow, rub some Bengay on her undies.....revenge will be yours!
Enslaved 38
You can add a few extra "likes" here by telling us. Lol I'm sure the OP also took it as a funny joke considering the name she post this under. Seems everyone's bored now a days.
booboo1997 3
Don't let that get you down. She obviously doesn't know what she is talking about. Remember that you are beautiful, inside & out! (:
perdix 31
Bazinga!
GoW_Chick 15
I didn't know Sheldon Cooper used FML! :o
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Boy, do I fail at reading. Grab your favorite shovel and bury me as deep as your hearts desire.
HockeyChamp101 0
id reply... "bitch"
GoW_Chick 15
Well that was udderly uncalled for, I say threaten to moove out, and milk it, so when she try's to ground you next, she will feel so bad you can just skim through it.
KeyboardWarrior 10
I applaud your attempt, and it had a strong start, but the ending just wasn't very good. :(
GoW_Chick 15
Well cud! It was an anticlimactic ending, I was just grazing on through, but then I got to the hooves end of the puns.
hamodeabosam 0
Right
Obeyy19 4
Utterly*
Tali147 16
22 - Haha well done. Credit where credit is due. 107 - It wasn't a spelling error, 22 was making a pun off of "udder" If you got that already, sorry wasn't trying to insult you.
high_tower87 9
Don't speak anymore.
michaelkiddguru 3
Well mothers can mistaken there children for cows. I mean at least you're well feed!! Keep on eatin!
ICATiger 13
She better watch her mouth. We don't want anymore mass cow suicides in South Park. Awful day.....
RabidBunny 10
You should hear the things my parents say...just awful D: but who cares it's only Facebook. For some reason, it seems people only care about what others say on Facebook -_-
MrMeaner88 3
That doesn't change the fact that she still said it, or what it means. I mean like, would calling you names be any better on FB, where all of your friends can see it, than me coming up to you and saying them to your face personally? Sure, the latter might be more aggressive, but it doesnt change the meaning of what i said. This is why there is so much FB drama, cuz social media makes it easier to say whatever u want to people without having to find them (or risk getting smacked in the face for it right away).
jerry2011 4
That must be your step mother, Right? I am not saying all step moms are like that. There are plenty of good ones too. BTW, I am sorry OP, that must have hurt you........