Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML
Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the third time." I had no idea. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML
Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML
Today, I was visiting friends in the country, and the property next to theirs has cows. Bored, I walked over to the fence and looked at a cow, who trundled over to the other side of the fence. I then saw the farmer staring at me and for some reason I said, "Just saying hi to your cow!" FML
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shrimpygymnast 9
call her a cow. thats an insult from where i am from in england
Fiskerz 0
Pretty sure it's a insult everywhere.. Go to the gym!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (233)
Tvolsfan325 13
Damn she told you. But your mom is bitch though.
chels1994 11
That's a bit far in my opinion...
Dommon 7
moo?
Argenisjose 9
Damn momma got jokes
ImaniBabii 0
Damn your mom's hardcore!
dirtroadmopar 0
you never add your parents on facebook!
chels1994 11
I added mine on Facebook.... o_o
Epikouros 32
YDI for being bored. You were boring yourself, OP. You shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you.
fmltothetop 4
Well tell her u can't call her a cow cause meat is too expensive and it would be too much of an insult to all the cows out there ;)
general58 2
a fatty trying to be cute and funny...surprise, surprise
THE_A_TEEN 28
An anonymous ass-wipe trying to be funny by making fun of people bigger then them. Suprise suprise....
THE_A_TEEN 28
An anonymous ass-wipe trying to be funny by making fun of people bigger then them. Suprise suprise....
coppertop1115 0
Your comment :