Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML
Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the third time." I had no idea. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML
Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML
Today, I was visiting friends in the country, and the property next to theirs has cows. Bored, I walked over to the fence and looked at a cow, who trundled over to the other side of the fence. I then saw the farmer staring at me and for some reason I said, "Just saying hi to your cow!" FML
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
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Top comments
shrimpygymnast 9
call her a cow. thats an insult from where i am from in england
Fiskerz 0
Pretty sure it's a insult everywhere.. Go to the gym!
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Comments (233)
bigtaytay 13
BURN
AyooXKayytee 0
That's why you don't add your mom as a friend on Facebook.
cannabistea 7
What a bitch! FYL for having an insensitive douche of a mother.
Missimoo2901 0
You shouldn't say that about someone's mum you don't even know. She could be really nice but was just trying to be funny. Maybe she wanted to have a good laugh about something that she did, even though it ended up embarrassing her child. You just don't say that about random people.
payton1769 0
It would probably help if your screen name wasn't "LonerCow" just a word of advice.
gabbiechaoss 5
Well, fat kids ARE harder to kidnap!
allknowingbrony 5
OSNAPBURN!!!
GypsyRover 0
U must be large.
griffin1992 9
Id like that comment too xD
nubton246 4
Hahahahahahaha
helpme37 0
That's freaking halerious!!! ROTFLMA