Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML
Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the third time." I had no idea. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML
Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML
Today, I was visiting friends in the country, and the property next to theirs has cows. Bored, I walked over to the fence and looked at a cow, who trundled over to the other side of the fence. I then saw the farmer staring at me and for some reason I said, "Just saying hi to your cow!" FML
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
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Top comments
shrimpygymnast 9
call her a cow. thats an insult from where i am from in england
Fiskerz 0
Pretty sure it's a insult everywhere.. Go to the gym!
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Comments (233)
Jem94x 3
Cow's Rule XD
NKG7896 3
She should check the farm for her.....
tripangelx8 4
given your username, I'm sure you recognize your size as well, if you're not comfortable with it, work out
Mea022796 2
I would picture a best friend saying that not a mon
maackenzie 9
Well is it her fault you could be mistaken for a cow? Don't be a fat cow and she won't have to call you one.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Really? It's her fault that her own mom treats her like crap, and it's visible to her friends? That's kind of heartless...
AyooXKayytee 0
That's rude..
mmjluvi 1
And your a bitch..
Missimoo2901 0
That's really mean...
maackenzie 9
Oh boohoo, at least her mom isn't calling her a stupid bitch and saying she wishes she wasn't born. She should suck it up.
maackenzie 9
And I care what you say why? I'm completely aware of my bitchiness thanks. :)
brendokendo 0
Well... That sucks.
TheLoneWandererX 2
Thats udderly ridiculous...you should milk om her face haha
Fmlsea 28
Ouch that would hurt abit what a bitch , well least u know what yo get her for Xmas a nice cup of milk
jenx4 5
At least i know im not the only one who gets their ass kicked by the hoses at the car wash
Missimoo2901 0
I think your mom was just trying to be funny, but I guess that worked as embarrassing her kid :|