Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML
Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the third time." I had no idea. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML
Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML
Today, I was visiting friends in the country, and the property next to theirs has cows. Bored, I walked over to the fence and looked at a cow, who trundled over to the other side of the fence. I then saw the farmer staring at me and for some reason I said, "Just saying hi to your cow!" FML
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shrimpygymnast 9
call her a cow. thats an insult from where i am from in england
Fiskerz 0
Pretty sure it's a insult everywhere.. Go to the gym!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (233)
tj4234 36
your mum's a hero.
Yak99 0
No.
GoW_Chick 15
Maybe?
socialcookie123 0
gtfo^
MarsBarz 0
brilliant
doumtabarnack 12
sorry but...YOU'VE BEEN ABUSED!
nerdsgetmehot 23
My mom is embarrassing on Facebook too. I feel your pain.
ladyLALAA 29
My mum is just friends with all my friends, and she never talks to me haha
obviousboy 8
Lose the weight, chubby.
silencedistant 0
How can parents be this cruel to their children? If I'm lucky enough to be added to my son's Facebook the last thing I'd do is make rude, belittling comments like this one. I think a lot of mothers hate their daughters because they see bits of themselves in their own children - its self hate turned towards their own flesh and blood. I understand it - but I don't.
cptawesomesauce 0
mooooo
EduJav321 24
Tell her that cows come from elephants
MsMindblowing 0
haha good one