Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
What goes around…
Today, my wife demanded that I cut all ties with my best friend, just because she doesn't like the jokes he tells. Now she's bitching that she's upset because his wife, who she works with, is talking about her. FML
Creepy
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so having a friend nearby is a huge win for her. What my wife doesn’t know is that her new friend keeps hitting on me, and has already sent me unsolicited nudes. FML
Permission granted and rejected
Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML
Make your mind up
Today, I had threesome with my wife and her best friend. Now my wife is mad at me for sleeping with her best friend. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight about his pervert friend who regularly shows blatant disrespect for our marriage, including sending me inappropriate texts. Apparently this friend should have my full trust, and apparently I am the one with the issue for not excusing his bad behavior. FML
Healthy relationship goals
Today, my husband told me to stop being friends with my best guy friend because I won't let him hang out with his ex. FML
Not sure that's how it works
Today, after getting sick of my boyfriend pestering me for a threesome, I invited a male friend over. My boyfriend strongly declined, because, "Hell no, I ain’t gay." So this man expects me to be a lesbian, but him being gay is a problem. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
What are you doing?
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Sounds like a sitcom
Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML
Top comments
k8izgr8_fml 0
well OP what's more important to you? your pride and masculinity, or getting laid? START UNDRESSING
Jakesterk96 8
Get a lesbian and make her your best friend, problem solved.
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Comments (250)
summinay 0
Wtf...
skyeyez9 25
Her gay friend is creeping into your sex life. If your wife is serious, I'd consider counseling and if she refuses, divorce! With holding sex unless you strip for her gay friend....then what? Giving him blow jobs?
skyeyez9 25
Having a gay friend (or straight) is not an issue. It becomes an issue if she is spending an absurd amount of time with him, and it is interfering with your private life. Aka she prefers to go out with him all the time vs spending time with her hubby.
structuredchaoz 4
Dude....time to file for a divorce.
RipSchitz 0
Divorce
cylus13 9
Sounds like to me it's time to say good bye for good.
angryyute 4
File for divorce!! Don't deal with that shit
3p1c0r88y 0
Haha
BlAzEtHiS 0
Divorce that bitch. Sex isn't an object to be used as leverage for anything in a good healthy marriage.
DarkFirefly206 9
Hey, can you give me his number afterwards? ;P Also, your girlfriend sounds like someone who would be my best friend. :)
DarkFirefly206 9
Ah, shit, wife** Sue me =_=