Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife demanded that I cut all ties with my best friend, just because she doesn't like the jokes he tells. Now she's bitching that she's upset because his wife, who she works with, is talking about her. FML
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so having a friend nearby is a huge win for her. What my wife doesn’t know is that her new friend keeps hitting on me, and has already sent me unsolicited nudes. FML
Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML
Today, I had threesome with my wife and her best friend. Now my wife is mad at me for sleeping with her best friend. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight about his pervert friend who regularly shows blatant disrespect for our marriage, including sending me inappropriate texts. Apparently this friend should have my full trust, and apparently I am the one with the issue for not excusing his bad behavior. FML
Today, my husband told me to stop being friends with my best guy friend because I won't let him hang out with his ex. FML
Today, after getting sick of my boyfriend pestering me for a threesome, I invited a male friend over. My boyfriend strongly declined, because, "Hell no, I ain’t gay." So this man expects me to be a lesbian, but him being gay is a problem. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML
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Top comments
k8izgr8_fml 0
well OP what's more important to you? your pride and masculinity, or getting laid? START UNDRESSING
Jakesterk96 8
Get a lesbian and make her your best friend, problem solved.
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Comments (250)
bananabuttercup 8
You're**
texfrankie 0
Bro you're ****** either way... Just try to make the best of it!
lotto_boi 3
How do people not understAnd the difference between "your" and "you're"
rayne2021 5
Get a divorce. Seriously, wtf kind of spouse does that?
RoseTintMyWorld 8
Um, what?
leon94_fml 8
Divorce!
redtigerlily 5
It's pathetic how intimated men get over things which aren't even threats.
Ins_Knie 2
IF women want to be taken seriously by men, they should be accountable for what they say, joke or not. Either way it's bad news.
SMHreally 0
One of those things you take to the grave with you *shivers*
TahoeFMler 22
Uh... If his new BFF to be is really a lesbian, then she isn't going to **** him.
Cricknah 5
It sounds like you need to consider marriage counseling. If you tried to explain how you felt and she disregarded it to the extent that she feels like withholding sex and demanding humiliation and being uncomfortable are suitable punishments, it sounds like you guys need it. I hope things work out for the best.