By Anonymous - 05/07/2013 14:26 - United States - Chicago

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks 74 432
You deserved it 8 720

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Easy fix: all she has to do is use her mouth!

Wow. I think you need to have a talk with her!


Wow. I think you need to have a talk with her!

must take a lot of willpower to power through that pain. nevertheless your girl has issues OP

I have to agree. Kids today don't generally have that kind of dedication and work ethic. Kudos to you OP!

\ 28

Sounds like a raging case of "major **** craving disorder"

For real. I stop when my arm starts hurting.

or she can just switch hands I'm just saying

lorraineald 7

Look on the bright side OP, at least she isn't getting STDs or pregnant.

androiddestroya 7

Easy fix: all she has to do is use her mouth!

feldco1 17

Darn it, saw this comment after I posted mine! Sorry

\ 28

Or start giving footjobs instead

TheDrifter 23

Our art least swap hands, ambidexterity is a useful skill for her probable future in "adult" films

Murilirum 23

I like the way you think :p

i was thinking OP should be glad her daughter wasn't suffering from lockjaw in the first place!

I think we are all missing the obvious solution: Why doesn't she just use the other hand?

#56- that's not a thing. I think you should do stand up at a mental asylum- the crazy people will find your random jibberish hilarious.

adrenalx42 2

Or she could you know not be a ****

100 they are in fact a thing...Google is...well not your friend,but a double edge sword at best

Dude is everyone forgetting that she's only 17?!

josebaseball11 14

Age of consent in many states. It's a grey area...

sparky1970 2

She's giving them to me. Sorry about that

CallMeMcFeelii 13

I never knew pentaceratops liked hand jobs..

flockz 19

all those handjobs must be leaving you a little.... saur.

Wouldn't she stop after realizing it hurts? Or just switch hands? :/

You'd think, but unfortunately, common sense isn't so common anymore...

No, it wouldn't be called common scence if it weren't common. There is just a lot less of it, though.

feldco1 17

If she used her mouth she would heal.

You say that with enough confidence that it seems you are speaking from experience... Go get em girl!!!!!

assassinbanana0 20

You should sit down and have a talk with her, OP. I'm not going to call her a ****, because I don't know if she does it to random guys or a boyfriend. But she needs to realize that her health is more important than her sexual pleasuring of other people.

Isn't the fact that OP needs to talk to his daughter a little obvious?

Maybe ease up on the **** shaming. How come no comment about the boy (or boys) who are getting the handjobs. Aren't they involved as well? Or is the woman the only one who is doing something shameful? Sex, unless you are masturbating, is between 2 or more people, so if one person is a ****, so's the other.

assassinbanana0 20

I specifically said I'm not going to call her a **** because I don't know her and she could be doing it to her boyfriend and not random guys

Well the way it was written it sounded like she's jerking off a whole bunch of guys. Unless they're quite lucky/slutty, each of the boys individually does not have many girls giving him handjobs, and "****" is a term usually reserved for someone with many sexual partners.

LaLa_xo 14

If she physically can't stop then you have worse things to worry about than her sprained elbow..

Her technique is all wrong. More with the wrist, less with the elbow. Alternately, more with the mouth, less with the hand.

Wizardo 33

But then again if she used her mouth her knees would be injured pretty soon, I guess its the trade off she'll have to pay...

Simple solution to the knee problem, get the receiver to lie down... Win-win

Wizardo 33

True, its definitely a win-win. I see big things in her future...

That "big things" pun was a good one. hahaha

I got a lot of those "been on your knees too much" jokes when I had knee surgery...

Wizardo 33

#65, You should have replied that "Yes I've been on my knees... praying for a speedy recovery and your doucheyness being alleviated". :')

@65- I'm going to be "that guy" and say it's because you're hot and the men who said it to you were hinting that's what they wanted/were hoping...