Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
That wasn't food poisoning, dear. It's morning sickness. Congratulations on behalf of the FML family.
nanpooo 6
Oh gross. I hope you were able to be excused from work.
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Comments (60)
DinoChicken 3
I have had food poisoning before, it stinks! Hope you get better! :D
Fuzzynavel 10
You see this is why i never puke in the toilet. It's disgusting and i'm so sick of people complaining about me puking in their sink/hot tub/ the footpath below their 4th story balcony. MUCH more hygenic.
Shadomasta 5
In mother Russia, toilet throw up on you!
CCDNRGD81411 3
Thats one reason why i stand up ehen i throw up. But im not going to lie because there are times when your throwing up and kneeling by the toilet is forced
aribari373 5
Why is your head inside the toilet instead of hovering above it? Those toilets are discusting
abbymiguel 2
I would definitely throw up three more times
alexlovescandy 3
Auto flush strikes again!!
ObeyStudKing 4
Eww. I hope your ok.
sillyyanks 24
Who sticks their head right in the toilet before the puke? I don't even do that at home! I doubt you wiggle your pelvis right in there when you do a wee!
NeonPopRocks 14
What goes down, must come up!