Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML
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Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
That wasn't food poisoning, dear. It's morning sickness. Congratulations on behalf of the FML family.
nanpooo 6
Oh gross. I hope you were able to be excused from work.
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Comments (60)
htownpostman 16
Oh I feel your pain.. I have to work through chemo and that has happened to me
zandalee 20
Sorry to hear that. Get better soon!!
mpalmiter 0
Wow #11. My thoughts and prayers are with you for a speedy recovery. You must be one strong person to be able to work through chemotherapy.
xrainbowshadowx 17
Toilet water and puke. Toipuke? A potential new Harry Potter jellybean flavor? No buy seriously get better soon.
PipingMouse 14
Nah more like pukilet flavor.
freshberries22 17
How are people saying you deserve it that's really messed up; dealing with any kind of gastrointestinal dysfunction is painful and sometimes comes without warning. I'm really sorry op I hope you feel better. I think this would constitute as a sick day so go home and get well.
anythingmustbe 18
What goes in must come out.
zombiekitten87 12
Well, that sounds like my definition of unspeakable horror.
mpalmiter 0
Feel better soon OP
retrorewind 13
mmmm McPuke
SamanthaCassieL 10
That happened to a friend of mine when we went out drinking one night. It was so gross. I'm so sorry OP! I hope not a lot of it got into your hair!! Feel better soon!
darawbs 0
Poor thing :/ feel better.
mikepzz 27
gross, salt on a wound right there! that sucks, take the day off, go home.. relax, vomit in less pressurized toilets :)