Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
That wasn't food poisoning, dear. It's morning sickness. Congratulations on behalf of the FML family.
nanpooo 6
Oh gross. I hope you were able to be excused from work.
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Comments (60)
yareens80 3
Why do people stick there head where people shit?? That's gross and at work even more. It's called a sink
StaceyMichelle 5
...Really? I don't know about you, but I would rather stick my head in a toilet to throw up than try to clean up chunks of vomit out of the sink.
ozone9914 2
omg i moderated this story
Arcangel196 0
Gotta suck to be you right now lol.
koooonal 3
Why was your face that close to the toilet..
Metallica36176 16
Third times a charm? Hopefully when it separates from your face/body this time, it stays off.
jvmb 0
Hopefully you didn't get splashed with stuff from the other end too!
HunterAlpha1 8
some things are nice to have automated, toilets not one of them.
mookiemookie01 24
Oh yuck, almost wants to make you throw up again, making it worse.
LaPush_ 7
Some things are just not meant to share with other people, euuw.
kkrivicky 6
I hate when you stand up and it flushes prematurely.. scares the S**T outta me! haha