Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML
Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me during an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, but on the way back was rear-ended, in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML
Today, I went to the market and I was stuck in a long ass line for 10-15 minutes. To make things worse, in front of me was a guy bending down with his buttcrack all the way out. I couldn't eat anything after that. FML
Today, I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for half an hour. The entire time, a man I had gone on a date with and that had gotten very out of hand with, was sitting in the car next to me. I noticed, panicked, and tried to drive off, rear-ending the car in front of me. FML
Today, on my way to work, I had to squeeze by a man sitting in a large truck parked next to my car. I was in a bit of a hurry and in my rush, the collar of my shirt got caught on his grill. My shirt ripped and I flashed the guy my entire boob. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Today, I discovered a nail in the tire of my car and a nice sized crack on the screen of my phone. I didn't think the day could get worse, until on my way to fix my tire, the cherry of my cigarette fell off and burned a huge hole in my driver's seat. This was my day off. FML
Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML
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Top comments
Dawkrida 0
ummm forced???? or u just wanted to stare
null_fml 11
To be fair, he might have had a thong on and you just didn't see it from that far away.
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Comments (123)
ragingflame 0
don't pretend u didn't like it
alex1432 9
that just gave me a pulsating boner
purplemnm 9
can I play with your **** puppet? 0_o
xoluvinshayxo 0
i love ur name tho
Chickenball 0
That is hilarious!
samantha_durano 6
hahh.
perdix 31
Just say 'no' to crack.
jakeTS 0
get an iPod, or a cell phone
eatmybeans 0
no you werent!you just like it that way!!
tisiphone_fml 0
The bright side is that you live somewhere warm enough and snow-free enough for people to be on motorcycles with skin exposed. But, FYL. I hope you get a new gig soon.
InsaneOblongata 0
No one was forcing you to look as his crack. Yeah, getting fired sucks, but staring at a fat guy's ass is your fault. Maybe you liked it?