Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML
Today, I was driving 65 on a fairly deserted highway when some speeding inbred in a giant truck chose not to use the open passing lane but instead SWERVED INTO THE SHOULDER to go around me, and then cut me off. Any closer and I would've been a smear on the asphalt. FML
Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home, in the middle of nowhere, when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML
Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me during an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML
Today, I rear-ended someone while trying to watch my odometer hit 80,000 miles. FML
Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML
Today, after finally getting up the nerve to take my motorcycle to up 75 mph on the freeway, I made it off in one piece, only to fall off my bike in the mall parking lot. FML
Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt… into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML
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Top comments
Angelice_fml 0
It's times like these that I wish there were such a thing as memory bleach.
ThaBeasty01 5
30 mile one way road ? where do you live .. china ?
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Comments (78)
Angelice_fml 0
It's times like these that I wish there were such a thing as memory bleach.
Adollable 0
Vodka, because Obama is a beautiful chocolate man.
BeefyQueef 5
Ha^
Muslimgal92 0
I would rather have fun in those thirty miles and imagine his ass crack as a basketball game and throw small stuff ;) bahaha
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#8 - No, don't even make FML references if you can't do it correctly. OP: Were you forced to look at his fat rolls and ass crack? No? Then you could have been doing something else like, oh, I dont know... LOOK AWAY (unless you liked it). Still, I feel bad for you for having to look at such a disgusting sight.
blakarius 6
sexy.
NoLongerExists 11
Please, 21, tell me how is OP supposed to look away while driving -_- Even if you are looking at the guy's head, you can't evade such sight completely...
benderbot19 0
Well 21, I hope you don't drive.
mk58 31
21, either you don't drive, or drive like a maniac. In order to maintain safe driving, you're supposed to keep an adequate distance from the vehicle in front of you, and with most drivers, we measure according to whether you can see their rear tire or if your dashboard hides it. Thus, OP would have to endure this disgusting sight regardless of whether he wanted to or not.
AndysFancy 6
And even further distance behind a motorcycle.... Don't know why he'd be driving close enough for this to bother him. Back off, OP!!
soccerguy2 11
I was gonna say what 21 said but as a joke. I am afraid she was serious though
KY_Jelly 10
Did you enjoy it?
m0tl3ycru3 0
Couldn't the OP just slowed down and followed from a distance if it was that bad?
NOTquiteRAMBO 10
I'm pretty sure she did not enjoy it. I wonder if ANYONE enjoys that sight..
captaincook_fml 1
This is what you consider a FML? Pathetic
Dc040583 6
Why didn't the OP just PASS the guy? If she's stuck behind him, obviously she'd have gone faster if he wasn't there anyway.
ThaBeasty01 5
30 mile one way road ? where do you live .. china ?
death_dolphin24 0
Screw you there is a lot where I'm from
ThaBeasty01 5
( great wall of china )
zaleh 23
and where are u from?
aceman1992 9
26- Since when did we start driving on walls?
ThaBeasty01 5
My original comment said .. where do you live china ? as in where are there 30 mile one way roads , and the great wall of china is alot longer than 30 miles but is a one way road .
Jovecove 13
Thabeasty, just stop.
ThaBeasty01 5
says the person that got 5 thumbs down, go hate on someone else's comment
koolkat27 13
wow guys, just calm down. yeah it was a dumb comment but you dont have to get so butthurt about it.
BeefyQueef 5
I hope you at least took a picture
graham11 14
What good would that do??
WeAreAHurricane 14
Well if its going to be burned into your memory, might as well frame it...
OfficeNinja 5
If you are a bad person in life, I think you come back as that guy's motorcycle seat.
mirag 0
Someone who was very bad is that seat right now.
brent321 10
Hahahahahahahhahahhahahahah
jpoole 4
This could just have easily been a bonus if you had that sort of a fetish.
rabbittboi 18
OP's living the life of a chubby chaser?
jpoole 4
A really chubby chaser
2ndSucks 15
Did his fat rolls blow gracefully in the wind too?
borkchop1992 15
that would have made an amazing post card if you took a picture of it
KateWesley44 0
ugh! perfect time to erase your memory! : I don't know how you managed to keep your eyes on the road OP!
KiddNYC1O 22
It was a dark, narrow road. ;)