By busted - 02/08/2012 06:53 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 318
You deserved it 18 638

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perdix 29

They'll give you a free toothbrush in jail ;) Make a shiv out of it and cut your roommate when you get out.

Sinamoi 18

Unless you're Aladdin, then it's badass.


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Sinamoi 18

Unless you're Aladdin, then it's badass.

perdix 29

Yes, there are. They are called "mitigating circumstances" and are used my judges to adjust the punishment to fit the crime. This story is so sad, I'll bet the judge gives the OP a very light sentence.

especially a 99 cent toothbrush... OP must be in a very bad situation. :(

There's actually quite a few. I believe things like diapers, cheap bottled water, regular milk, and probably toothbrushes get a pretty light sentence

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thatKidzmOm 10

I'm fairly certain, worse case scenario, you return the toothbrush, pay court costs and a small fine, have a misdemeanor on your record, and are banned from that store for life. Op's not going to jail for stealing a toothbrush. And that's IF the owner decides to press charges.

I was going to put a Home Alone reference but I couldn't think of one

Uuuum, for the act of stealing a toothbrush I think the sentence would be give back the toothbrush and get take it waaaaay to seriously, it's not that big a deal when it's 99 cents

Just the idea of using valuable ressources on on prosecuting OP is ridiculous!

thatKidzmOm 10

That's why I said worst case scenario. Most police officers would probably laugh at being called out for that.

tjv3 10

Agreed stealing is wrong. YDI I'm sure you could have found enough change to buy a freaking tooth brush. Hell you could have sang on the street. Even if you sucked at singing someone could have paid you to stop

Why so many FYLs? OP is practically a criminal. But I personally hope the store doesn't press charges because OP is too poor to spend 2 bucks on a toothbrush, even though he could've just borrowed 2 bucks from anyone.

Matty1188 6

I'm not sure why anyone would steal bottled water, unless they don't have a tap.

iLOLatURpain69 7

My dentist gives me free toothbrushes whenever I need them.

Yeah, if they are so desperate they could have had their water turned off.

hahasooo 2

doesnt work that way.

Annies 17

So was he just supposed to not brush his teeth?? Gross.

Damn, that's when you know you're broke...

reallytho3 11

Rock bottom...

thatpeachyperson 12

Maybe if they got rid of the cat life would be easier. If you can't afford a toothbrush, you certainly can't afford catfood or litter every week.

But it's the roommates cat not Ops it doesn't say Op helps with anything to do with the cat

20) Rock bottom? More like under ground.

Your profile made me laugh quite a bit! I will change my pic for your birthday definitely!

lottievaughn 5

Check the couch next time, OP. 4 quarters gets ya a toothbrush at the dollar store. Better yet...make your roommate give you money for a new toothbrush, considering they defiled yours!

perdix 29

They'll give you a free toothbrush in jail ;) Make a shiv out of it and cut your roommate when you get out.

Inheritance 10

Ha Skyrim. I just went and Fo-Sha-Rah everybody.

Sinamoi 18

Fus-Ro-Dah. It is highly apparent that you are not the Dragonborn. And a shiv is a general term for a pointed instrument that is intended to be used as a weapon.

63- "A shiv (possibly from the Romani word chivomengro, "knife") is a slang term for any sharp or pointed implement used as a knife-like weapon. The Oxford English Dictionary suggests shive, a razor, documented in 1915, as the root word." Don't contest Perdix's words, we take them by faith!

Inheritance 10

My bad that I didn't know terms of skyrim because I have a life and don't play that 24/7 and no need to explain what shiv is?

Inheritance 10

And last I checked they have tons of different shouts which comes with their own phrase so who says I'm entirely wrong?

80- You're wrong it's well known to be Fus-Ro-Dah. Cut your losses before you get burried.

Sinamoi 18

So because I know what has basically become one of the more famous lines in gaming, I don't have a life? And apperently I did need to explain it, because Perdix wasn't refering to all.

Yeah!!! Let's Fo-Sha-Rah those bitches up!!

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That's a horrible idea what if the roommate has some Kim of mouth fungus or something like that now op has it as well. And even taking there things could still be looked upon as stealing.

Kind of*

43, I'm sorry but it's really bugging me. Their*. Sorry xD

Why thank you for the correction good sir

patacus 14

Well actually, "their" is a plural possessive word. Since there's only one room mate it would be his or her. I mean, personally I hate that rule, and don't really follow it. I just never got the chance to grammar Nazi a grammar Nazi before.

43- I think Kim works actually, like a Kim Kardashian mouth fungus! Makes sense to me.

91- "their" can also be used in that situation rather than "his or her" if you don't know the person's gender. Sorry.

how about no. that's disgusting

That's a good idea. Until you have an oral disease/infection.

Sinamoi 18

I would have made my roommate pay for a new one. And as for your shoplifting, you're clearly not a ninja, and this erased all possibly of that ever happening.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Possibility*. You're not a word ninja, are you? ;)

Sinamoi 18

YOU JERK! I made another typo :(.

Well someone got a little aggressive about that, a little sensitive about not being a word ninja are we?

I think he may have been exaggerating...

Sinamoi 18

55 is correct.

You don't say?

Obviously he's a ninja, guys. Just look at his pic ;)

Angelrose2004 17

You can get a toothbrush for a dollar! Try looking around the house for spare change. People always lose change in my couch. Or even ask a friend for the money. Ydi

Go to the dentist and make some excuse about a toothache or something and and ask if you are using the right tooth brush- they might give you a free one if you are lucky.

Just one and, autocorrect -_-

Well considering some dentist depending on your insurance and why you are there want a co-pay how will they pay for that??

Well then their life sucks. I'd just demand a better toothbrush from the roommate.

#33, If OP has a dentist, the office might just give him one, without appointment or charge, in this situation.

corinna12124 0

Just ask your dentist for a new one after you tell him the story I'm pretty sure he'll give you one for free.

If you can't even afford the toothbrush, then how were you going to afford the toothpaste? Or we're you planning on shoplifting that too?

Nobody said the roommate used up all the toothpaste on cat puke.

Yeah I know. My guess is that OP probably doesn't have a huge stash of toothpaste though...

Nice recovery...

Not really

*were (original comment)

My guess is that by the time OP is out of toothpaste, they'll probably have gotten money and be able to afford it. However, you can't wait days/weeks to buy a toothbrush and just not brush your teeth for that long :/

tony1891 22

good job. now you can use your stolen toothbrush to clean the floor in your prison cell.

Im fairly sure you dont go to jail for shoplifting a toothbrush. Thats a tad bit excessive

YDI for stealing...