By tomedicalforlove - 21/02/2013 05:51

Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 119
You deserved it 41 929

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What have you done to our elderly? D:

Maybe the fact that you call it "man meat" like a pubescent teenager is what turned him off.


I'm so nervous when my girlfriend grabs my uh..low hangers..that could go bad so easy

Most of the nurses I work with wouldn't think to wash someone, they are too busy with pills and paperwork. It's usually down to the care assistants. A hands on nurse is really rare.

Adding to 54's comment, usually the CNAs wash the patients and the RNs do the paperwork and inject medications, as mentioned above. At least that's how it's been since I've been in and out of hospitals since '09.

Nurses do a lot more than inject the meds and do the least the good ones do way more than that.

#54 - I'd say it depends on the country. While I lived in Brazil I knew quite a few nurses and, from what they told me about their work, it is pretty common for the nurses to work hands on. I agree with your statement for the US, at least. From my experience there hands on nurses are pretty rare, or at least give the impression to be.

chell1894 13

It also depends where you work. Hospital, home nurse, nursing home etc.

What have you done to our elderly? D:

as a nurse, I really dont want the elderly men getting a hard on if I ever for any reason get put with the task of ball washing.

RedPillSucks 31

I don't think it can be helped.

wlddog 14

I bet you would make way more money if you did.

OhDearBetrayal 25

47- Doubt it. I'm a CNA, and I'm the one who's task is to clean up patients. We get paid at about the same rate as teachers, meaning that I'm your local hobo.

SenselessPattern 12

If you're already hobo status AND you have to wash crusty sacks of horror anyways, you should stop dabbling and become a full-time hobo instead.

47, if it wasn't for the presence of you guys, ball washing and bed pan sterilizing and, well, shit in the bed would be part of MY job description. so from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! :D and hey, it's not a bad idea... charge them a hundred doller fee for not telling on them to their wives ;)

wlddog 14

101 My wife is an RN, and bathing is the thing she hated most. She worked in the Critical Care Unit, (CCU) and only RN's are allowed to touc the patience. She despised that part. I do not envy anyone that does that for a living. As for me, I don't ever want to end up that way. I want to pass away in my sleep and no one realize anything was ever wrong. Or in a huge firey explosion. Either one is fine with me.

Maybe you should just stick to the average foreplay...

average is never best

AliceLockehart 18

@3 For some reason I read your name as chocolate asylum, & now I'm sitting here thinking about what a majestical place that would be.

No one mess this up! This comment has exactly 69 thumbs up. How fitting.

If this is the case, you may never truly nurse. ;)

TheRandomIndian 17

My mom is a nurse, and now I hate OP

Tell him you've never orgasmed to somebody in whatever job he has.

Mister_Triangle 21

He's a professional sex-man.

So a prositute

Lol, you should never bring your work home and mix it up with you and your husband's sex life OP.

Unless you're a teacher

o.O? "hey baby, let's do some math! subtract the clothing, divide my legs and add your man meat so we can multiply! **** me like your kindergarten teacher you always had a hard on for! YEAH BABY EAT MY APPLE!" ?

RedPillSucks 31

Curly removed her discontinuities. He stared at her significant places and began smoothing out her points of inflection. Poor Polly. She could feel his hand tending towards her asymptotic limit. The algorithmic method was now her only hope. Her convergence would soon be gone forever. Curly's radius squared itself. Polly's loci quivered. He intergrated by parts. He intergrated by partial fractions.The complex beast even went all the way around and did a contour intergration. Curly went on operating until he was completely and totally exhausted of all his primitive roots.

Duceswild99 19

This is my type of math!

dontpanic_fml 32

I was way too into that by the end...

Well, I should hope you're a nurse and not just some weirdo who likes to wash people at nursing homes.

You mean that's frowned upon? No wonder I get so many dirty looks.

RedPillSucks 31

Not from the guys whos junk you're washing.

Maybe the fact that you call it "man meat" like a pubescent teenager is what turned him off.

"Now honey, I will show you how we wash man meat in the nursing home that I work at. " Yeah, I can see how any man would get turned off.

Let your man meant dangle like a sausage in a butcher. Then I'm going to chop it up and serve it to a family of 4, the children unaware of what they're eating... Wait what?

meat* Damn these bratwurst fingers

wlddog 14

Hey Doc, how often do you recommend having your meat washed professionally? 50 What kind of drugs do you normally take? You may want to get your dosage changed.

How is "this is how you wash old people who can't do it themselves" sexy?

Were you washing it with a brillo pad?

peachesncreem 21

They wash people in nursing homes with Brillo pads where you're from!? Ouch.