Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, a wasp stung my nipple. Twice. The swelling makes it look like I'm growing a third breast. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML
Today, as I bent over to pick up my baby, a wasp flew into my bra. I jumped up in a panic, flattening the wasp between my boob and my bra, where it stung me on the nipple, which is now swollen, a funny colour, and throbbing. Did I mention the nipple was already irritated from breastfeeding? FML
Today, I had the house to myself so I lay on my bed with a porno for some me time. I was just about to begin when I felt a sting. A mosquito bit me right on the shaft. I’m allergic to mosquitos, so now I’m sweating, covered in hives and my knob is swollen in a very bad, not fun way. FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, I smacked a big mosquito that had landed on my leg. My boyfriend then said to me, "I wonder if their mouth snaps off when you slap them, and now it’s stuck in your skin." Thanks. Thanks a lot. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML
Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Grand_Cookie 21
Hehe! That's funny. I'm sure you have very nice boobies, so relax and tell him his junk is small like a normal person.
perdix 31
I'll never understand guys who have flat-chested girlfriends joking or complaining of their lack of boobage. If that bothers you so much, don't go out with her. Otherwise, shut your stupid mouth and love her for everything else.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (91)
chanellgymnast 17
Tell him that a mosquito needs to bite his small dick.
nolefan 15
you should have a mosquito bite both of them every day
purebliss_fml 19
Now you're like most women with one breast bigger than the other. Welcome to the lopsided booby club!
AshaaFerreira 22
Well thank god I'm not in that club! It hard enough to find bras my size let alone one to make them even!
InvisibleMonster_fml 16
Holy shit, a cup size?! That must've been painful enough. Your bf is a dick for adding salt to the wound.
dieselguy 6
kick him in his junk when it swells and say "hey I can finally see it!!" haha
AshaaFerreira 22
Congrats! You and 100 other people gave the same advice.....
laughmaster 9
It's really not soo cool, when I was a kid my brothers hand would swell up to the point where he looked like a powerpuff girl, FYL op
writergirl23 19
Antihistamines?
buddy51 23
Breast augmentation courtesy of Dr. Skeeter!!
MsNateV 7
Lol.
YourVoiceofReasn 6
Don't be the kind of girl who makes jokes about her body then gets pissy when other people do it.