Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a wasp stung my nipple. Twice. The swelling makes it look like I'm growing a third breast. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML
Today, as I bent over to pick up my baby, a wasp flew into my bra. I jumped up in a panic, flattening the wasp between my boob and my bra, where it stung me on the nipple, which is now swollen, a funny colour, and throbbing. Did I mention the nipple was already irritated from breastfeeding? FML
Today, I had the house to myself so I lay on my bed with a porno for some me time. I was just about to begin when I felt a sting. A mosquito bit me right on the shaft. I’m allergic to mosquitos, so now I’m sweating, covered in hives and my knob is swollen in a very bad, not fun way. FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, I smacked a big mosquito that had landed on my leg. My boyfriend then said to me, "I wonder if their mouth snaps off when you slap them, and now it’s stuck in your skin." Thanks. Thanks a lot. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML
Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML
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Top comments
Grand_Cookie 21
Hehe! That's funny. I'm sure you have very nice boobies, so relax and tell him his junk is small like a normal person.
perdix 31
I'll never understand guys who have flat-chested girlfriends joking or complaining of their lack of boobage. If that bothers you so much, don't go out with her. Otherwise, shut your stupid mouth and love her for everything else.
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Comments (91)
evolute72113 9
U should thank that mosquito, ur boyfriend now Loves u more and u know how to please him as well
justkush 0
Punch him in the dick
ForbiddenDestiny 20
Correct response: "Now all we need is a bug bite on your dick. Then I'd be able to see a little something."
jmw24 8
ha ha ha ha literally mosquito bites! Lmao
tayahln 4
are you a STAFF carrier? cuz i am and that always happens to me! so we are in the same zone
psitsruben 10
..talk about mosquito bite boobs...ha
thatnewgirl 16
this happens to me all the time (the swelling due to an allergic reaction) I was out at a bonfire with a few of my friends and my bf I had gotten bit all along my lower back above my pants and I asked my bf to look at it and he said I could play connect the dots and they swelled to where I had love handles on either side.