Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a wasp stung my nipple. Twice. The swelling makes it look like I'm growing a third breast. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML
Today, as I bent over to pick up my baby, a wasp flew into my bra. I jumped up in a panic, flattening the wasp between my boob and my bra, where it stung me on the nipple, which is now swollen, a funny colour, and throbbing. Did I mention the nipple was already irritated from breastfeeding? FML
Today, I had the house to myself so I lay on my bed with a porno for some me time. I was just about to begin when I felt a sting. A mosquito bit me right on the shaft. I’m allergic to mosquitos, so now I’m sweating, covered in hives and my knob is swollen in a very bad, not fun way. FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, I smacked a big mosquito that had landed on my leg. My boyfriend then said to me, "I wonder if their mouth snaps off when you slap them, and now it’s stuck in your skin." Thanks. Thanks a lot. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML
Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML
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Top comments
Grand_Cookie 21
Hehe! That's funny. I'm sure you have very nice boobies, so relax and tell him his junk is small like a normal person.
perdix 31
I'll never understand guys who have flat-chested girlfriends joking or complaining of their lack of boobage. If that bothers you so much, don't go out with her. Otherwise, shut your stupid mouth and love her for everything else.
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Comments (91)
goatcheese4you 13
I love pickles
dakatabg 31
Ha ha
drayloon 50
So if a real mosquito bites a mosquito bite, it turns into a normal boob?
mdcdeve 10
YDI for not getting breast implants already, succumb to social media pressure.
ozpunker 20
I'm sure he loves them how they are.
smacky187 9
Did he need binocs to locate them?
Eloras_Mom 0
Gives a whole new meaning to the term "mosquito bite ****" In ur case, thats a good thing. Go topless in the woods at dusk to enhance ur cup size.
swicots 4
You should probably break up with him
angel55033 12
He's lucky you didn't blind him again with your fist.
kayluhh18 11
I feel ya, girl. Itty bitty titty committee all the way lol