Today, I got a letter stating that now that I'm in my mid-twenties, I need to start getting cervical exams. The only people interested in getting anywhere near my vagina are doctors. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML
Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML
Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML
Happy birthday
Today, it's my birthday. My birthday present was a pelvic exam, and not even the good kind of pelvic exam. Woo hoo! FML
Patient confidentiality
Today, I got a mammogram, after feeling some discomfort. After the exam, I mentioned to my mother my doctor referred the test, because even though I'm still in my twenties, I have a family history of breast cancer. She told coworkers, friends, and family about my health condition. Now they all know. FML
Waiting for that special someone
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Top comments
janfleury 19
The exam has nothing to do with sex. It is about cervical cancer. Get the exam so when you do (and you will) have sex you will be healthy and enjoy it.
neuronerd 29
I was also in the "started seeing the doctor before being sexually active" club. Don't worry about it. Plenty of people will be interested down the line, all that matters for you is what you're ready for and what you want. I'm sure you even have people interested now, but are unaware.
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Comments (46)
janfleury 19
The exam has nothing to do with sex. It is about cervical cancer. Get the exam so when you do (and you will) have sex you will be healthy and enjoy it.
finalyearsofhate 22
Typically you start those around 18 regardless of sexual activity. It's not an uncommon cancer, so it's good to be proactive.
fakedsincerity 32
In the UK it starts at 25 for regular screenings on the NHS. Personally, I think it should be 18 but it's 25 at the minute.
SevieCookie 14
I agree it should be lowered. It also quite stupid that if you do have any concerns and want a cervical smear (and you are under 25), you have to jump through so many hoops in order to do so and even then they may not accept it as "you're not old enough"
InfiniteSunshine 32
In Canada we start getting them at 21 regardless of sexual activity. However, if you're sexually active, you get them 3yrs after you first become sexually active, so if you lose your virginity at 15, you'll start getting exams at 18. You can also get them anytime if you request it, which I think is a good system. It accounts for the fact that young women can get the cancer too, regardless of whether they've had sex, and also takes into consideration the heightened chances of getting it once you're sexually active (HPV virus and all).
MallowMistress 13
Generally in the US, insurances don't require it until 20/21. However, a doctor will recommend/suggest they're done if it's known you're being sexually active. I would have still had 1-2 years before I had to deal with it, if I hadn't gotten pregnant.
drcola 2
There really isn't any evidence that starting the screening programme at 18 would be beneficial. It's an invasive test and the pick up rate from people <25 is astonishingly low. The majority of cervical cancer cases are secondary to infection with HPV virus (serotypes 16 and 18 are super cancer-y but are completely asymptomatic). There's no point screening people until they have had a chance to pick up HPV and its had a chance to create disordered cell growth. Please also remember the smear test doesn't test for cervical cancer but rather the precursor changes that may suggest you could get cervical cancer in the future. Actually it's really shite at picking up actual cancer and often misses it.
portraitbird 4
The whole point is to check for abnormal cells on the cervix. In Canada at least if you have one abnormal pap result then you need to return to the doctors office in ~6 months and get another one. If the second one also comes back abnormal then you get referred to an OBGYN for more specialized testing.
madgingermunchki 3
Actually, it's 21 in Scotland.
FalconWhitaker 20
I'm in the same boast as you, OP. And that reminds me: I need to book my smear test. Oh the joys of being 25...
portraitbird 4
I'm 22 and my last two tests came back abnormal. Next step is a cervical biopsy or whatever. I cannot stress the importance of Pap smears enough to my peers. It's scary knowing there might be something very wrong down there. But I think it's scarier having something very wrong down there and not knowing at all.
honeymoonroyale 20
They're not the greatest thing in the world, but your doc will help you through it step by step. Hope it all goes well. And there will be someone down the line who will be interested, that's a fact for sure.
Swellswellswell 17
I'm in the same boat, so don't you worry!
maemismile 22
Yeah I'm not a big fan of people touching me. And I just remember puking after. My doctor told me I was the first one that ever puked though, so it's just cuz I'm a wimp. But I understand how uncomfortable that is, especially because you've never been sexually active.
neuronerd 29
Getting nausea when your cervix is touched (like in a pap smear) is common, and is an autonomic nervous system response. I've puked once from it, myself. It doesn't mean you're a wimp. It's a natural reaction in the body, and just happens to be stronger in some people than others.
OCEly 3
It's not a big deal to not be sexually active at your age, OP. You'd be surprised how many people are in the same boat. Don't feel like you're undesirable because of it; you'll meet someone.
captainsmegma 12
Well, and me.
MenAreFromVegas 5
Somebody always wants poontang. Also you are supposed to get a pap smear every six months after you turn 21.
Harpy20 24
Nope. Most screenings are done every 1-3 years depending on a variety of factors(age, results, of previous screens, whether one has offspring, etc). It's rarely ever that often unless there is an abnormal screen.
sirrubberduckie 37
There's an Internet full of creeps who want to have way more to do with you than you'd be comfortable with, but that's probably not what you mean.