Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke, and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
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Top comments
AliMarie 0
Uh. . .this just confuses me.
Tribulations 0
That is undoubtedly the worst tattoo ever worn by anyone ever.
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Comments (100)
andcob 1
bullshit nobody says faucet in australia, probably lying or from america or they are just a ******, and people who type 911 instead of 000 thts just stupid
yehr 0
ever thought she might have said faucet because she thought this was an American site and didn't think they would know what a tap was ????
aussieoioioi 0
#71 People do say faucet And people that dial 911 are not necessarily stupid. We watch so much american tv and movies that people get the facts mixed up. I personally know someone whos never been to america, is of asian ancestry, lives in australia and has a full american accent from being brought up watching american tv and movies. And i can tell you now, she definately is not a ****** or stupid. Shes probably twice as smart as you are and a lot less ignorant.
ginwl 0
Ha ha, that did make me laugh though.
DefyingGravity 0
How old ARE you?
rachelbrianna25 0
lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MAN!! u must be the brightest one in the fixture.
hoff90 0
uhhhhh, wtf is this? randomness...... also, a faucet is part of a sink not a shower... in any part of the world
marshmallowmouse 0
If it's a shower that doubles as a tub, the spout where water comes out above the drain and below the shower head is called the FAUCET. Problem solved.
ThatsFunnyFunny 0
That's STUPID
yehr 0
ditto
Isamermaid 17
I have a real tattoo of a scorpion on my leg. It's pretty badass and realistic-looking. I find scorpions and spiders all the time in my laundry. Once, a scorpion was on a sock I'd just washed... it stung me when I picked up the sock. Since then, I've been known as the Scorpion King. I mean Queen.
alexxss_fml 10
lol fail!!!