Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke, and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AliMarie 0
Uh. . .this just confuses me.
Tribulations 0
That is undoubtedly the worst tattoo ever worn by anyone ever.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
FritoLovesYou 0
Holy ******* OUCH.
protwtf 0
Holy ******* shit, you're almost as brilliant as the moron who's scared of their own shadow in the shower. I agree with whoever above said you two should be shower buddies......
pepolshet 0
lol
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
OK PEOPLE, HERE'S THE BREAKDOWN. THE OP: 1) finds a temporary scorpion tattoo inside a bag of chips 2) applies said tattoo to her wrist 3) forgets about tattoo 4) gets in the shower 5) glimpses the tattoo and assumes it's a spider 6) is shocked AS IN STARTLED, not shocked with electricity 7) jumps, screams, freaks out etc., till she slips, falls and hits her head.
dspadres 0
The fact this needed an explanation means it sucked and was poorly written therefore she deserved it.
anjyu22 0
And I was sitting here trying to picture what a tattoo of a scorpion in a bag of potato chips would look like...
erinreneehealey 0
learn the correct use of whilst idiot
martinezcory 0
1 your an idiot 2 why the hell do people use whilst like wtf? really do people really need to say that to act smart?
sui117 0
lol. that's sounds like something i would do.
conartist66 0
FYL for 1. mistaking a probably obviously fake scorpion, for a real spider 2. for writing it like a douche bag
mommytobe123 0
that was soo funny:D
Jesky13 4
This is funny! How can you people not get it? Don't be retarded!