# 1

"EEEK!" *Pow!*

Hahaha that's funny, but I wouldn't try squashing a spider on my cheek... Spider juices!

if the spider was actually in your face, you would've been vomiting from the guts of the spider all over your face.

4- What does your profile mean, that it is bad to support same sex marriage? 17- Or OP would have turned the water on in the sink which was right in front of them and washed their face, if the water wasn't on already.

Puking because you squished a spider on your face? I'm guessing you have a very weak stomach, yes?

17- I would be very concerned if the spider was IN ones face

Just imagine if there were others in the toilet. Their reaction would be EPIC.

#1 which you made it so clear that you were number 1, FML is a site about people misfortune and hilarious stories. Not a free sex website. Please don't say "hmu" then proceed to write your number.. Freak.

43-Why so concerned? The expression "getting all up in one's face" must deeply disturb you.

On the brightside your pimp hand's warmed up.

If only it was a public bathroom.

WHAT DID THE 5 FINGERS SAY TO THE FACE!? (Slap) ha ha ha I'm Rick James Bitch.

OP should've slapped harder

31- your picture fucking sickens me.

94 - your bieber hair fucking sickens me next?

#99, you're beard.. Doesn't sicken me at all..

102 the way you eat that sammich arouses me

Well OP really deserves a *facepalm*...

You fan turn me on

99- seeing as I'm what, like 10 years older than that little fuck(I don't know how old he is) and I'm in the military, and my profile states that it is an old picture of me, I don't see how the hell my hair is Bieber hair.

At least you didn't see the spider on your nuts...

120, That's not bieber hair! Lol. And even if it was, you are still about 100x more attractive than he is. ^dont take that the wrong way... But it's true..(:

Well thanks, I've always wanted to be more attractive than a prepubescent boy.

You're DEFINITELY better looking then him :)

Woah now ladies, let's not all clamor for me at once.

Your just a special kind of stupid aren't you?

You're just a special kind of retard, aren't you? Your grammar and spelling sucks.

tru dat

140, Hahaha! You're welcome,(:

I would have loved to have seen you do that

I'm sure the spider appreciated the show!

The spiders! The spiders want me to tap dance. I don't wanna tap dance! Tell those spiders Ron. Goddamn spiders.

Agreed. It sounds really funny.

Oh boy...

Priceless.

Objects in the mirror may appear to be actually on the mirror.

Do humanity a favor and slap yourself in the face again.

Oh spiders. They get you every time don't they? One time I had found a spider on left eyebrow so I wacked it with the dull side of a knife. Wrong side anndd it was just a piece of fuzz.

Youre an idiot

Omg that sucks! I'm sorry:(

cool story bro

Wow...i was going to say OP was a dumbass but you have 'em beat by far...

Shouldn't you do an fml on that?????! Yikesies!!!!!?!

You guys actually believe him? First of all why would he randomly be holding a knife and even if he was why would he be somewhere where he can see his reflection?

Cool story bro, Tell it again

136- Tell it at a party and make some friends.

Cool story bro your an idiot

Too bad you didn't use the wrong side of the knife.

Rude person much? /:|

Rude person @160

Bet you felt really stupid!!!The best part-you could have kept that dumbass move to yourself for the rest of your life considering nobody was in the bathroom with you to be witness to your stupidity. But instead you decided to share that with the rest of us. Thank you!!

Anonymity my friend, anonymity

You're not quite grasping the idea behind this site yet, are you, Punkin?

“We are Anonymous. We are Legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us!”

Actually Levvy I do grasp the concept of this site just fine. I was mearly thanking OP for sharing their story with us. That is all. What else do you say to a person that just smacked their own face. And yes Ravagedsoul they may have submitted post as anonymous because they are to some degree embarassed by their brief moment of stupidity, however they still chose to share it with us. And ast3150 was right. The people on this site are very cruel and unforgiving as if they never said or did anything stupid in their life. But that is what makes it entertaining. So again I will say thank you op. I laughed my ass off.

Fair enough. I was misreading your tone by a mis-inferrence from your wording. My bad entirely.

Hey, it's cool we all make mistakes.

Now, now, did you happen to be smiling at yourself and saying "whose that sexy beast?" .... ;) karma.

Im so sorry... This really made me laugh. ^_^

Major *facepalm* by op... Way to go smart one... Lmao

Even IF the spider was on your face, you don't slap it. You flick it off. Why would you want a spiders flesh on your face?

And how do you think Charlotte felt about that?

Same as you when you took your profile picture

Breathless? Stop making fun of people