Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML
Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML
Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
Lol, I love this one. I'd so do that to my friend. :)
farmgirl 3
#4 - not even real guns are illegal... and that's really funny, i would have done the same thing
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Comments (108)
Callyn 47
#17, the gun laws in the US are more reasonable than those in Britain or Canada. Stun guns should by all means be legal.
JennaJustLauqhed 0
They shouldn't be illegal. Would you rather be attacked, murdered, or raped & not had a small weapon to prevent it all?
jannie22 0
she said they shuld be legal not illegal she agrees with you -_-
paperfox_fml 0
#22, you're wrong, kthxbai.
SandyKinns 6
There are always going to be stupid, violent people. By taking PROTECTION away, you leave innocents to the mercy of villains.
pancakelover 0
Lol, that's not funny... I would be mad.
catatonicsleep 17
Did she do it on purpose or was it accidental? If she was really excited she could have pressed the button by accident....
Zoa_fml 0
Well it would have been pointless if you had given her one that didn't work.
itsbrina 0
LMFAO.thats ****** up.
andydawg8891 0
That's pretty FMLish, least you didn't get her a nub-nose .22 instead hahaha.
satanicminnow1 1
17 and 23.... hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *gasp* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha boys are you guys retarded!
lm_wfc 0
#22 - stun guns should be legal but heavily regulated. firearms on the other hand shouldnt.
satanicminnow1 1
Firearms shouldn't be legal? How much crack did you smoke today??? That is ******* retarded, good thing the second amendment won't let that happen.