It's his turn for a trip to the ICU.

What a dick

Well, he's not wrong. A proactive approach to one's life is never a bad idea.

There's proactive and there's being a huge asshole. He would be the asshole.

It's amazing. Even the simplest, most obvious jokes go over peoples' heads around here.

I’m sure it was a joke, just wasn’t a funny one.

Bully for you. However, I was referring to Mathalamus and others like him, who quite clearly thought I was being super serious.

guessing you're single with dumbshit logic like that

Case in point.

Learn to execute better.

You messed up on this FML. You should have stated ex boyfriend

And now that you've lived, he still needs to find a new girlfriend.

Father *calls son* “I heard your girlfriend is in the ICU I hope she’s okay “

Son “ yea their not to sure yet *loud noises in background*

Father “what’s that noise?”

Son “oh I’m just at a party I figure if she dies I’ll need to find a new girlfriend...”

Father “What.... the... fuck.....”

Son “good idea huh?”

Father “I’m disowning you”

Hopefully, that's how it went down.

His motto seems to be “always be prepared”

Tell him: "Good news, you don't need to wait until I die to find another girl. We're done."

He may need to find a backup pool for his strong swimmers.

Praying for you.