Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, after assuring my best friend that his girlfriend would never cheat on him, I came home to my brother having loud sex with my best friend's girlfriend. FML
Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML
Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years cheated on me with his ''sister-like friend." It's the girl I was always worried about, and half our arguments were about her. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me. With my mother. They were doing it for almost a year. FML
Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
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Top comments
thaliah 15
Kick your brother's ass and dump the girl.
famvd 15
I'm assuming the squeaking sound is coming from the bed, not the brother...
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Comments (149)
MeAnd 9
At least you won't be hearing that anymore. Hopefully you'll find a better gf.
buckdharma 38
That was your guinea pig making noise op. He kept trying to tell you.
QueenSaru 28
I just want to know how your girlfriend was over and you didn't notice? Does she sneak in and out of windows? Invisibility cloak? Does she have a twin and you just thought it was her sister?
Cherryta 17
How did you miss that? Surely you would notice her coming to your house/ leaving your brother's room?
ZorroRooster 19
I usually dont condone violence, but they both need to be punched SO HARD in their respective reproductive organs. Repeatedly and without mercy. Dump the bitch and kick your brothers ass everyday for a year.
nana_88 10
At least you're not getting cheated on anymore.
skittyskatbrat 19
Two things to do. 1. Buy a pregnancy test. Use a blue pen to make it look positive, put in the trashcan in your brother's bathroom or the shared bathroom. Make sure he'll be home before she is and that it looks badly hidden. 2. Buy a bra. You can get one for a few dollars at Big Lots and other bargain stores. Crappy bras, but, hey, it only has to LOOK nice. Make sure it's not a small bra, nor a white one. Go for a bright red or black lacy one, and at LEAST a D cup. Remove all tags. Put that somewhere that she will see it, such as barely sticking out of a pile of laundry or from behind brother's bed. They each know the other one is dishonest and cheats. This should be a great amount of fun to watch when the drama unfolds. Best to put the pregnancy test out, then let them scream at each other for a week, THEN hide the bra. She'll be sure he's found someone else that isn't pregnant. And just feign total ignorance as they try to fight about this w/out you finding out.....
Dcm210 19
Set the bed on fire.
ioawawn 1
Or or or it's the brothers bed squeaking.
bubblooz 13
Three months? Time to dump the girlfriend and go at war with your brother. Good luck. (Don't forget to beat the crap out of him)