Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, after assuring my best friend that his girlfriend would never cheat on him, I came home to my brother having loud sex with my best friend's girlfriend. FML
Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML
Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years cheated on me with his ''sister-like friend." It's the girl I was always worried about, and half our arguments were about her. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me. With my mother. They were doing it for almost a year. FML
Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
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Top comments
thaliah 15
Kick your brother's ass and dump the girl.
famvd 15
I'm assuming the squeaking sound is coming from the bed, not the brother...
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Comments (149)
gurbism 16
This is a good opportunity to begin planning your life-long revenge on your brother. May I suggest beginning by dropping a steamy turd in his pillowcase?
keirissleepy 10
time for you to plot a little revenge OP, sweet delicious revenge
Alastor13X 8
Some family you got there. Good riddance to bad women OP. I wouldn't even justify it with a talk with her. She's obviously not worth your time, and neither is your brother. I think anyone capable of betraying their family willingly for 3 months isn't family at all. He made it apparent an easy lay is more important than you, so I would cut them both out of my life. Don't let them pull the whole moment of weakness crap on you either. No moment lasts that long.
MinaGermania 12
should have kept her in a cage
AbbyMaexx 2
At least you have a wicked cool guinea pig to keep you company when you dump your cheating ***** :)
HeyTherexxx 21
And to cheer him on when he kicks out his lousy brother.
LukeS107 1
Its probably because you have a Guinea Pig
whisky_tango_fox 4
If she sounds like a guinea pig, are you really on the losing side there?
glabberfasted 16
It's not her making the sounds...
8born8 18
89, how do you know? Have you ****** her too?
iAshelle 11
You can find someone who will be 100% faithful to you! Keep your head up OP:)
worldclassrager 41
How did you find that out? Or should I not want to know
redwill85 10
I am sorry to hear this OP. Family should respect you and who you're with. I hope you two weren't very serious for your sake.