By illenram06 - 11/07/2011 15:37 - Philippines

Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 701
You deserved it 6 677

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Is there a reason you ever started dating him...?

People can change throughout a relationship. She may have loved him in the beginning until he started acting like a nitwit.

do it like jLo in enough! middle of the night.

cause a zombie apocalypse if he's a real asshole he will leave you

I feel like if you act pyscho then you might scare him off. Unless those were his intentions... in that case you both need to grow a sack and dump each other.

36, that's not a bad idea... they did just discover zombie cancer...

Get a restraining order! .....or a body guard.

She probably didn't know when they started dating. Then once she did it was too late.

none of these suggestion would work cuz she's in the Philippines

50, first fluffee reference Ive ever seen anywhere =D

If she's in the Philippines she can get some butterfly knives and scare the fuck out of that abusive bitch. Or you can lock him in a dog cage and feed him to a lion.

If you had your phone with you, which I suppose you had, you could call the police? Or use your computer? Then again, this might have been a room without any means of communication with the outside world..

62- or an assault rifle

106, FLuffee is awesome :D

135 FLuffeeeeeeeeeee :)

Yeah, because they day they started dating he told her how he was going to shoot her and taxidermy her so they could be together forever. Who doesn't love a romantic like that?

113, this is a website. As in, internet. Obviously, OP had some means of communication.

let's hope your psycho boyfriend doesn't read FML's, but if, R.I.P OP.

a bit too serious to be on FML. as for the OP, stop whining and call the police

Liking how nobody gets that 113 is being sarcastic.

maybe he's a hot psycho with a personality

197- oh, we got it... It just fell incredibly short of funny, or even entertaining.

restraining order and a body guard, or maybe you could just tell him you no longer want to see him. if he freaks out tell him you will take out a contract on him with you uncle that is in the mob. you could act like you have become more psycho then him and then he will leave you.

Actually, I'm still not seeing the sarcasm. Is it because it wasn't funny?

hit me up, i'll kick his ass for ya 7079438071

62 Or a Hitman...

is your boyfriend Charlie Sheen?

tell him you JUST found out you have herpes. he might kill u if you knew u had herpes and didn't say.... so yea make it a "I just found out" situation >.<

or stab him in the nuts and run like hell

Or a swift kick in the ass, out the door, and down the street may help and hold a 44mag for good measure.

^damn I wish I thought of that

Ha, people that think a .44 magnum is the best handgun ever cuz of Dirty Harry fail. try a shotgun with 00 buckshot.

if I was her I'd kill him like shoot him in the face with a magnum

omg its called a minigun with a grenade launcher attachment. duh. lol

you people are violent

Remember, rule #? double tap ;)

you could kill him or use the smart and easy plan, tell him that you are gay? it works trust me ;)

actually lock him in a room and play Justin bieber for 72 hours

oh it would take less than 72 hours 281...

fuck the shotgun i'd bring a spork!

Good idea

Yes, post his soul on eBay and see how much you can get for it.

Or a pet tiger

OR a pet tiger that knows how to use a gun!

hahah that'd be a funner way to kill him! plus you can't get in trouble if the tiger was the one holding the gun!

exactly! its the perfect plan!

we will strike at dawn!

I'll bring the tiger!!

Mike Tysons tiger shall be our greatest ally!

This is gonna be perfect!! >:)

go big or go home, make sure its a .50 cal.

166 it's called google

.50 cal? I don't think so, try a .338 Lapua.

hollow points are a necessity.

she can hire me a marine fully trained buy the government and private organization when I was a kid he'd be gone any way she wants him

ill bring the hobo....•.•

7.62X39 dose it.

il bring the medal of honor cat!

Say, isn't first degree murder punishable by the death sentence? OP would still die, wouldn't she?

not if it was a tiger who did it.

i think a tiger might work pretty well..

or just crack his neck while he's sleeping and throw his body in the lake

i agree. i have somebody who can take care of problems like this... its me. but you didnt hear it from me.

this sounds like a marijuana reference. next time try kush lol.

227 Thts exactly what I was thinking. that must be some bammer lol

how would calling 911 help? having a stupid ass psychotic boyfriend isn't an emergency!

71, it is if it's possible she's gonna die from it!!!!!!!!

Fairly certain it's 999 in the Philippines bruh.

911 wouldn't help you if you had trailer trash running at you with a bat.... I would know

ya that's what o would do

umm kinda! u call them and say that your scared to break up with your boyfriend because he's a psychopath and might kill you!!!that's what your supposed to do

op is from Philippines. 911 don't work there

The best way is to make him feel like the break up is his idea. Either that or move and tell NO ONE.

Making him feel like a break-up is his idea is pretty much the best solution. That way, you don't risk him going postal when you tell him you want to end the relationship. The only problem is how to do it... Other things, like moving away or faking having a contagious disease like herpes might just get him insanely furious, and who knows what he'd do. Bad situation to be in. Glad I'm not.

It's Inception all over again

call the cops and get them to supervise while you get your stuff out of his house or ask them to escort him out. or have someone trusted over while you breakup with him and see how he reacts. that really sucks, op, good luck.

But whose to say he won't try something when the cops aren't around? o.O

what does op mean? :p lol

it called lock your door and window.. Lol. or maybe counseling. or hook him up with another girl, lol

Oklahoma Penis'

go cops get the dogs bitch im rollin with the fuzz now po po po po po po po po

and the cops should waste their time supervising a break up instead of stopping rapists and murderers?! ffs they aren't babysitters!!

84 - You are SUPPOSED to call the cops if you feel in danger from ANYONE including your spouse/partner. Better be safe the sorry, especially if you think he may become abusive. My dads friend was trying to get out of a relationship and she had to call the cops while she went to get her stuff out of his house so they could supervise in case it got violent.

whether they are SUPPOSED to or not, it shouldn't be happening. i was in an abusive relationship and didn't need the police to come bubble wrap me when i finally got the f out... cos i agree with all the uproar about what police are actually dealing with these days, they are way too often called upon when a sober person/ family member/ supportive friend/ parent/ teacher would suffice.

Op is Optimus Prime

117- The majority of homicides is caused by the boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse. If you feel like you're in danger from them, calling the police is your best option. And since murder is almost always on impulse, having a friend there won't stop them from bludgeoning you to death with the picture of the family trip to Disneyland when you say "I don't think this is going to work.."

haha! go cops smoke some rocks storm the barber shops sures nice bein white haha just kiddin blake guys

beebby Stfu u dumbass.

Beeby, or should I say retard, just because you were in an abusive relationship and got out safely, doesn't mean everyone else can... How do you want to stop murders if you don't want them to call when they think something might happen? I suppose you want the corpse to deal with it, amirite?

no 173, or should i say hijabib, you're not right. and i wouldn't say i got out of the relationship 'safely' (response to comment above) but i managed to get out with the help of a family member. if any of you who have labelled me as a retard - you rude fuck - or told me to stfu - you ugly bitch - have actually been in that situation, feel free to continue. if not then don't be so ignorant as to assume you would have any idea what you would do. what you think you would do and what you actually do when faced with a real life situation differ hugely. drink a cuppa concrete and harden the fuck up, police aren't there to monitor relationships or the end of them.

you shut it! cops are over extended and they could be helping some one who needs it versus some paranoid chick over reacting to probably nothing.

Except i WAS in this situation and I did call the cops lol. Talk about pretending to know everything again.... They helped out by monitoring what went on AND came back when they didn't have to. So... I guess the other person was right, and so was I, In saying stfu retard.

The Police are there to serve the citizens in protection from harm, to themselves, and their possessions. That is their job. If you are genuinely concerned for your mortal life, then I think, regardless of the situation, you are in the right if you decide to call them. Do you really think all of those people who were murdered by their partners would have been wrong to call the police? If that's your stand on things, then I'm seriously concerned for the way you apply logic to any situation.

183, cheers man :) finally a bit of reality around here instead of damsel in distress bullshit!! awesumuzzi, you were probably in that situation cos he was sick of you using pathetic kiddie insults like retard LOL... stick that in your pipe

funny beeby, because most murders come from relationships/break ups gone bad. The police are around for protection and if a person feels they are being threatened by another person they should call. I am sorry to hear you went through an abusive relationship and I'm glad you made it out okay, but you're story does not apply to everyone.

yes of course the police shouldnt waste their time on dealing with abusive people, theyve got far too much to worry about with stopping all the real criminals, you know what i mean, those psychos driving 65 in a 60 zone. we need more patrols on the road to stop minor speeding infringements. totally with you. GO BEEBS...

haha wow I started an argument. but we can see who people agree with more by the thumbs. :p

174-You call her ignorant but you called her hijab...

@274 it doesnt really matter what the thumbs say, people are generally stupid - i think this applies even more to this site - so what they think is not a reflection of truth. not to say i disagree with you on this point, its just that suggesting the thumbs prove anything beyond "hurr durr lyke" is really useless.

I'm talking about people who think you should call the cops when your in danger versus the people who say quit being a whiny baby and don't bother the cops when your in danger, cause oh no, "that's not their job". -sarcasm-

Remember to hide his body when you're done.

seriously, murder is the only way out of this situation.