Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML
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By
seeunexttuesdays
| 6
it's called a gun.
By
amrik
| 11
sell him
COMMENTS
By
PushMyButtons
| 5
oh that sucks for you.
Reply
octinate
| 17
yeah
Reply
kiran_fml
| 5
call the cops
By
hannahtaskey
| 9
Is there a reason you ever started dating him...?
Reply
SwaggerMelon
| 6
Good luck.
Reply
rainbo955
| 0
People can change throughout a relationship. She may have loved him in the beginning until he started acting like a nitwit.
Reply
whybother8
| 0
do it like jLo in enough! middle of the night.
Reply
zendaddy0
| 0
cause a zombie apocalypse if he's a real asshole he will leave you
Reply
chaps93
| 6
I feel like if you act pyscho then you might scare him off. Unless those were his intentions... in that case you both need to grow a sack and dump each other.
Reply
brianjman14
| 22
36, that's not a bad idea... they did just discover zombie cancer...
Reply
katiekatie412
| 4
Get a restraining order!
.....or a body guard.
.....or a body guard.
Reply
lovinit5683
| 0
She probably didn't know when they started dating. Then once she did it was too late.
Reply
Tjack_attack
| 0
none of these suggestion would work cuz she's in the Philippines
Reply
Cmliedtke
| 0
50, first fluffee reference Ive ever seen anywhere =D
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OkayImSorry
| 0
If she's in the Philippines she can get some butterfly knives and scare the fuck out of that abusive bitch. Or you can lock him in a dog cage and feed him to a lion.
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OkayImSorry
| 0
really
Reply
If you had your phone with you, which I suppose you had, you could call the police? Or use your computer?
Then again, this might have been a room without any means of communication with the outside world..
Then again, this might have been a room without any means of communication with the outside world..
Reply
Babalu722
| 3
62- or an assault rifle
Reply
brianjman14
| 22
106, FLuffee is awesome :D
Reply
ILOLatmockdaweek
| 0
135 FLuffeeeeeeeeeee :)
Reply
lalala2589
| 0
Yeah, because they day they started dating he told her how he was going to shoot her and taxidermy her so they could be together forever.
Who doesn't love a romantic like that?
Who doesn't love a romantic like that?
Reply
Renesaga
| 8
113, this is a website. As in, internet. Obviously, OP had some means of communication.
Reply
stinewd
| 9
let's hope your psycho boyfriend doesn't read FML's, but if, R.I.P OP.
Reply
simply_improper
| 1
a bit too serious to be on FML.
as for the OP, stop whining and call the police
as for the OP, stop whining and call the police
Reply
kevinfenchak
| 0
Liking how nobody gets that 113 is being sarcastic.
Reply
weewee1
| 0
maybe he's a hot psycho with a personality
Reply
SeedlessMe
| 13
197- oh, we got it... It just fell incredibly short of funny, or even entertaining.
Reply
tjv3
| 10
restraining order and a body guard, or maybe you could just tell him you no longer want to see him. if he freaks out tell him you will take out a contract on him with you uncle that is in the mob. you could act like you have become more psycho then him and then he will leave you.
Reply
Jacobt24
| 19
Actually, I'm still not seeing the sarcasm. Is it because it wasn't funny?
Reply
ZombieKing1215
| 1
hit me up, i'll kick his ass for ya 7079438071
Reply
Newboyz00185
| 0
62
Or a Hitman...
Or a Hitman...
Reply
EvilPotato
| 14
is your boyfriend Charlie Sheen?
Reply
n_epic_fail
| 14
tell him you JUST found out you have herpes. he might kill u if you knew u had herpes and didn't say.... so yea make it a "I just found out" situation >.<
Reply
atlanta_lex
| 0
What ?
By
amrik
| 11
sell him
Reply
OasC82
| 0
solid idea
Reply
mruizk9
| 7
or stab him in the nuts and run like hell
Reply
SouthernSweetie
| 13
Or a swift kick in the ass, out the door, and down the street may help and hold a 44mag for good measure.
Reply
amrik
| 11
^damn I wish I thought of that
Reply
aKaClickZ
| 4
Taze him, bro.
Reply
kevinfenchak
| 0
Ha, people that think a .44 magnum is the best handgun ever cuz of Dirty Harry fail. try a shotgun with 00 buckshot.
Reply
Alex94xela
| 0
if I was her I'd kill him
like shoot him in the face with a magnum
like shoot him in the face with a magnum
Reply
kplogan
| 0
omg its called a minigun with a grenade launcher attachment. duh. lol
Reply
goaliemkl123
| 8
you people are violent
Reply
redfishbluefish2
| 13
Remember, rule #? double tap ;)
Reply
JoeTheMan12
| 0
you could kill him or use the smart and easy plan, tell him that you are gay? it works trust me ;)
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amrik
| 11
actually lock him in a room and play Justin bieber for 72 hours
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carolv22
| 0
oh it would take less than 72 hours 281...
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stupidfaceman
| 0
ur an idiot
Reply
supernerd352
| 7
fuck the shotgun i'd bring a spork!
Reply
kenzersO3O
| 0
Good idea
Reply
iclark0
| 8
Yes, post his soul on eBay and see how much you can get for it.
By
seeunexttuesdays
| 6
it's called a gun.
Reply
OWNZ
| 0
Or a pet tiger
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OWNZ
| 0
OR a pet tiger that knows how to use a gun!
Reply
seeunexttuesdays
| 6
hahah that'd be a funner way to kill him! plus you can't get in trouble if the tiger was the one holding the gun!
Reply
OWNZ
| 0
exactly! its the perfect plan!
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OWNZ
| 0
we will strike at dawn!
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seeunexttuesdays
| 6
I'll bring the tiger!!
Reply
seeunexttuesdays
| 6
hahaha nice!!
Reply
OWNZ
| 0
Mike Tysons tiger shall be our greatest ally!
Reply
seeunexttuesdays
| 6
This is gonna be perfect!! >:)
Reply
OWNZ
| 0
go big or go home, make sure its a .50 cal.
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seeunexttuesdays
| 6
I don't get it.
Reply
agaba
| 0
166 it's called google
Reply
kevinfenchak
| 0
.50 cal? I don't think so, try a .338 Lapua.
Reply
steveakafranxy
| 7
#43 wins
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foxyrambo
| 3
hollow points are a necessity.
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NFL333
| 0
she can hire me a marine fully trained buy the government and private organization when I was a kid he'd be gone any way she wants him
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s_scharf365
| 0
o
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mrsvickybear
| 9
ill bring the hobo....•.•
Reply
j_cat187
| 19
7.62X39 dose it.
Reply
JoeTheMan12
| 0
il bring the medal of honor cat!
Reply
DKjazz
| 20
Say, isn't first degree murder punishable by the death sentence? OP would still die, wouldn't she?
Reply
seeunexttuesdays
| 6
not if it was a tiger who did it.
Reply
sanddollar88
| 0
i think a tiger might work pretty well..
Reply
ikillkkk
| 0
or just crack his neck while he's sleeping and throw his body in the lake
Reply
dorworters
| 9
i agree. i have somebody who can take care of problems like this...
its me. but you didnt hear it from me.
its me. but you didnt hear it from me.
By
chippa
| 24
Shitty, bud.
Reply
Mean_Mr_Mustard
| 9
this sounds like a marijuana reference. next time try kush lol.
Reply
livin_plur
| 0
227 Thts exactly what I was thinking.
that must be some bammer lol
that must be some bammer lol
By
neoamaru_fml
| 8
umm...911? :S
Reply
seeunexttuesdays
| 6
how would calling 911 help? having a stupid ass psychotic boyfriend isn't an emergency!
Reply
dani212
| 0
71, it is if it's possible she's gonna die from it!!!!!!!!
Reply
Blueglasscup
| 18
Fairly certain it's 999 in the Philippines bruh.
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Tyler1988
| 0
911 wouldn't help you if you had trailer trash running at you with a bat.... I would know
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zimandme123
| 0
ya that's what o would do
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zimandme123
| 0
umm kinda! u call them and say that your scared to break up with your boyfriend because he's a psychopath and might kill you!!!that's what your supposed to do
Reply
Oreogasm
| 5
op is from Philippines. 911 don't work there
By
Calyx_fml
| 21
The best way is to make him feel like the break up is his idea. Either that or move and tell NO ONE.
Reply
goshpeople
| 4
Making him feel like a break-up is his idea is pretty much the best solution. That way, you don't risk him going postal when you tell him you want to end the relationship. The only problem is how to do it...
Other things, like moving away or faking having a contagious disease like herpes might just get him insanely furious, and who knows what he'd do. Bad situation to be in. Glad I'm not.
Other things, like moving away or faking having a contagious disease like herpes might just get him insanely furious, and who knows what he'd do. Bad situation to be in. Glad I'm not.
Reply
Jacobt24
| 19
It's Inception all over again
By
rainbo955
| 0
call the cops and get them to supervise while you get your stuff out of his house or ask them to escort him out. or have someone trusted over while you breakup with him and see how he reacts. that really sucks, op, good luck.
Reply
A7X_LoVeee
| 10
But whose to say he won't try something when the cops aren't around? o.O
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allisonbredow
| 0
what does op mean? :p lol
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rainbo955
| 0
it called lock your door and window.. Lol. or maybe counseling. or hook him up with another girl, lol
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LouieLZ
| 5
Oklahoma Penis'
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OWNZ
| 0
go cops
get the dogs
bitch im rollin with the fuzz now
po po po po
po po po po
get the dogs
bitch im rollin with the fuzz now
po po po po
po po po po
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beebby
| 0
and the cops should waste their time supervising a break up instead of stopping rapists and murderers?! ffs they aren't babysitters!!
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rainbo955
| 0
84 - You are SUPPOSED to call the cops if you feel in danger from ANYONE including your spouse/partner. Better be safe the sorry, especially if you think he may become abusive. My dads friend was trying to get out of a relationship and she had to call the cops while she went to get her stuff out of his house so they could supervise in case it got violent.
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beebby
| 0
whether they are SUPPOSED to or not, it shouldn't be happening. i was in an abusive relationship and didn't need the police to come bubble wrap me when i finally got the f out... cos i agree with all the uproar about what police are actually dealing with these days, they are way too often called upon when a sober person/ family member/ supportive friend/ parent/ teacher would suffice.
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pickles1994
| 18
Op is Optimus Prime
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ryanst
| 7
117- The majority of homicides is caused by the boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse. If you feel like you're in danger from them, calling the police is your best option. And since murder is almost always on impulse, having a friend there won't stop them from bludgeoning you to death with the picture of the family trip to Disneyland when you say "I don't think this is going to work.."
Reply
pimpmonkey
| 1
haha!
go cops
smoke some rocks
storm the barber shops
sures nice bein white
haha just kiddin blake guys
go cops
smoke some rocks
storm the barber shops
sures nice bein white
haha just kiddin blake guys
Reply
apegirl907
| 0
beebby Stfu u dumbass.
Reply
Awsumuzzie
| 12
Beeby, or should I say retard, just because you were in an abusive relationship and got out safely, doesn't mean everyone else can... How do you want to stop murders if you don't want them to call when they think something might happen? I suppose you want the corpse to deal with it, amirite?
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beebby
| 0
no 173, or should i say hijabib, you're not right. and i wouldn't say i got out of the relationship 'safely' (response to comment above) but i managed to get out with the help of a family member. if any of you who have labelled me as a retard - you rude fuck - or told me to stfu - you ugly bitch - have actually been in that situation, feel free to continue. if not then don't be so ignorant as to assume you would have any idea what you would do. what you think you would do and what you actually do when faced with a real life situation differ hugely. drink a cuppa concrete and harden the fuck up, police aren't there to monitor relationships or the end of them.
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dgr8ing
| 0
you shut it! cops are over extended and they could be helping some one who needs it versus some paranoid chick over reacting to probably nothing.
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Awsumuzzie
| 12
Except i WAS in this situation and I did call the cops lol. Talk about pretending to know everything again.... They helped out by monitoring what went on AND came back when they didn't have to. So... I guess the other person was right, and so was I, In saying stfu retard.
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Selbesterwahr
| 3
The Police are there to serve the citizens in protection from harm, to themselves, and their possessions. That is their job. If you are genuinely concerned for your mortal life, then I think, regardless of the situation, you are in the right if you decide to call them.
Do you really think all of those people who were murdered by their partners would have been wrong to call the police? If that's your stand on things, then I'm seriously concerned for the way you apply logic to any situation.
Do you really think all of those people who were murdered by their partners would have been wrong to call the police? If that's your stand on things, then I'm seriously concerned for the way you apply logic to any situation.
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beebby
| 0
183, cheers man :) finally a bit of reality around here instead of damsel in distress bullshit!! awesumuzzi, you were probably in that situation cos he was sick of you using pathetic kiddie insults like retard LOL... stick that in your pipe
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Katy326
| 10
funny beeby, because most murders come from relationships/break ups gone bad. The police are around for protection and if a person feels they are being threatened by another person they should call. I am sorry to hear you went through an abusive relationship and I'm glad you made it out okay, but you're story does not apply to everyone.
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a_nutritionist
| 10
yes of course the police shouldnt waste their time on dealing with abusive people, theyve got far too much to worry about with stopping all the real criminals, you know what i mean, those psychos driving 65 in a 60 zone. we need more patrols on the road to stop minor speeding infringements. totally with you. GO BEEBS...
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Superflykid
| 5
op,! hahaha
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rainbo955
| 0
haha wow I started an argument. but we can see who people agree with more by the thumbs. :p
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TheFakeFamilyGuy
| 9
174-You call her ignorant but you called her hijab...
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a_nutritionist
| 10
@274 it doesnt really matter what the thumbs say, people are generally stupid - i think this applies even more to this site - so what they think is not a reflection of truth.
not to say i disagree with you on this point, its just that suggesting the thumbs prove anything beyond "hurr durr lyke" is really useless.
not to say i disagree with you on this point, its just that suggesting the thumbs prove anything beyond "hurr durr lyke" is really useless.
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rainbo955
| 0
I'm talking about people who think you should call the cops when your in danger versus the people who say quit being a whiny baby and don't bother the cops when your in danger, cause oh no, "that's not their job".
-sarcasm-
-sarcasm-
By
fairymacabre
| 7
FAIL.
Reply
cuntfacekillah
| 5
your hair is a fail.
By
shakeTHEworld
| 12
Remember to hide his body when you're done.
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Molord1
| 0
seriously, murder is the only way out of this situation.