By Anonymous - 08/08/2011 14:29 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 669
You deserved it 4 459

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So he has that long of a penis? Stop complaining..

that's a lofty goal, you should be proud of him.


that's a lofty goal, you should be proud of him.

Its pretty impressive if he can come even close to tying his snake on a knot.

Tell him he can rupture the chambers in his penis, effectively breaking it. He'll think twice before he tries to make a doggie with his peepee.

Pixxio_O 11

I wish I could do that... :(

37 I'll let you try with mine

Pixxio_O 11

Thanks for the offer 44 but I'm pretty sure mines longer...

gmc_blossom 21

Hello Pedobear. Good to see you.

Pixxio_O 11

You shall never know....

Here's a cool, true story 54. My dad is good friends with Alan Rickman. He works with him through the Blackfriar's convention and through the Globe Theatre in London. I've met the man, and being as cruel and unwavering as the character Snape is a testament to Alan's acting ability, because he is a genuinely nice, sincere, affable fellow.

BlAcKgUyLoVeR3 7

cool story bro

eminemchick 19

a guy that made balloon animals with his penis? he mustve been a co-author for the kama sutra.

SirObvious 1

You like pretzels?! Ho

The mental imagery is absolutely horrid! :P

An even loftier and more impressive goal would be for him to play Paganini on the piano with just his penis and perhaps a partner.

I do that every day!

je_suis_fml 11

He's long enough to replicate a pretzel and you're going "fml"? lol.. I'd like some of that "fml"..

enonymous 8

YouTube link.... NOW

thats awesome u shud be very proud haha

Tell him to make a snake

Denikk 0

Pixxio try with mine ... no way yours is longer... I can't even cover it. Well, it's not like I try...

A pretzel isn't an animal :P but still, I am impressed

Pixxio_O 11

0.0... I'm sure u do denikk.. But no need as I've already done mine :D

KiddNYC1O 20

This thread is a little disturbing. You should be watching Nick at Nite or something, Pixx.

Damn OP, your boyfriend must be a big boy. If you know what I mean. that even possible...

I would be more disturbed by the fact that the guy is looking up guys who can make animals with his penis.

Today, I heard of a man who can make balloon animals with his penis. I am trying to reach this legendary status, but my girlfriend keeps yelling at me. Plus, I've got a boner. Fml

I can make a balloon snake with my penis.

Wow. that sucks. but kinda funny. sorry OP

I just hope he wasn't erect

And u didn't help him op?

duckman9 55

neah, thats not funny, its just sad! and might end up really really painful.

^ if it gets stuck in a knotO.o

Op's boyfriend to doctor: hey doc I broke my penis! Doctor: how? Boyfriend: I tried and turn it into a pretzel.

DomoLaDii 8

wow! lmao

otb113 7

i can make mine look like squidward! push the Jacobs up on each side for the eyes and well his nose... that's self explanatory!

So he has that long of a penis? Stop complaining..

Maybe she likes a small one; maybe she has a teeny tiny hoo-hah, or maybe she has some kind of reverse preference for dicks, or dickslexia, as it is often called.

It's Kenneth Kaniff cock boy

It never says he actually makes the pretzel. It says he TRIES.

Maybe it's not long, just really skinny. like a cherry stem :P

^ I could tie it in my mouth! NO HOMO.

That comment actually sounded PRO-homo. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

eminemchick 19

ken kaniff from connecticut! no, he's more of a guy thatd be paired up with pedobear.. what time are you getting off? or should i say, what time are you cumming over?

ariannaa_fml 17

Maybe she has chicken cocks?

it'd be funny if he was attempting this with a small dick =] but then again....I don't see how it's possible, no matter what your size...

chrisdiazknowsbe 0

Ur a lame and never had a gf

I bet he can't make a snake.

MrPositive 0

That would be hard (get it)

lolololer 8

it might come out to be more like a worm :P

allinicolesmh 0

This comment made my day:)

He should have tried to make a sword. =)

God forbid your bf has a beautiful hobby!

DRE140 0

That's a good way to stretch before sex

mdizzl 6

was he able to do it?

I was wondering that too. haha

Yeah he'd have to be pretty big to be able to do that.

At least he has a penis.

There's nothing like having a penis. Vaginas can be cool too, but penises (or is it penii) are just the bees knees.

sourgirl101 28

Come on. You must have heard that with a vagina, you can have as many penises as you want. (old joke) BTW I don't think the plural of penis is penii. I think I read it as penes before but mostly it's spelt penises. I may be wrong. (:

SunDropGirl 0

Hahaha I get your joke! That's funny

I tried that once... Never worked out make him try it with real balloons. And why would he watch a guy make balloon animals with his penis?

Question is why not ?

He likes balloon animals that's why

I wonder if those skills could transfer over to the bedroom?

StopDropNRoll 11

Your telling me you want a pretzel? Cause that sounds painful and hard

aFatFuck 0

Not to shatter your dreams...but it's basically impossible to bend an erect penis much less pretzel style.. no one has ever done it, it might just break off

Ever heard of sarcasm?? Anyone??

ryanst 7

Sarcasm? Is that some sort of cookie?

146- Yes! They're much better than chocolate chip. Not as good as Oreos though.