By Lyn - 06/07/2012 22:14 - France

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 161
You deserved it 2 081

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If I ever adopted children, I wouldn't hide it from them until they were that old :( I'd make sure they knew as they were growing up that I had chosen to raise them, even though I wasn't their biological mommy, because I loved them. I'm sorry you had to find out at your age, OP. I know you must have been very upset.

That's a sucky way to find out...

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Aw

"Oh!! Hurry! Lemme type a 2 letter comment so I can be the first commenter. Aw shucks..I am second"

2- You're way too fucking deep

Such wise words…

we have a genius over here!

Neutral milk hotel!

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Oh I swear I'm retarded sometimes. I realize my comment will probably be buried. Took me a minute to get it...

Now you must suffer the consequences. You are hereby BANISHED to the badlands. May Cthulhu have mercy on your soul.

Cthulhu reference FTW!!!

22- you too will be banished soon...

Either I'm missing something here, or the first sentence of this FML is not really connected to the rest of the story...

if it means not dealing with you anymore, I would take my banishment happily

Yea 33 you are definitely missing out on the fact that she found out about her adoption via her grandfather not sharing the secret FAMILY recipe with her

Being adopted is not that bad, actually its not bad at all if you have caring and loving parents. I don't think it's easy for a parent to tell their child "you're adopted" it changes everything. I personally would prefer my parents not telling me if I was adopted. That's just me, everyone is different.

I love how many thumbs down votes I got for one Cthulhu reference, uppity bunch of ballsacks!! C'Mon, let the hate parade for this comment commence!!

76- your assessment of being adopted not being bad is based off of what experience? Im not saying you are wrong, but to make a comment, and then immediately tell the world why you aren't qualified at all to make that assessment seems silly...

87, I'm just assuming that if a person has loving parents why should it matter if the person is adopted. I'm not saying adoption is a great thing, but it all depends on the adoptive parents.

87, it's their opinion. They're not claiming it as fact. But if my parents adopted me, I wouldn't want to know because, to me, it doesn't matter. They love me.

At least if you're adopted you can be sure you're not an accident and that your parents wanted you. Plus, your real parents are the people who were by your side all your life, not those who gave you their DNA so it's not so bad to be adopted, being alone would have been worse.

I get where you're coming from 108 but you worded that completely wrong. if you're adopted it's a possibility that no they weren't wanted and yes they were a mistake hence been given up for adoption (I said it's a possibility I know some people aren't financially stable and all that) and no it wouldn't be the real parents by their side. I think what you meant was that because they specifically adopted her that she's not a mistake to them and they want her unlike her real parents.

115, 108 said it right. I have a step dad who I consider my real parent because he takes care of me where my biological dad didn't really talk to me until I was 12.

My sister was adopted and raised by people who loved her as if she were their own. My parents spent 30 years looking for their kidnapped daughter. I realise it's not the most common situation but never assume birth parents didn't want their children. Chances are excellent that you don't know the full situation.

It shouldn't matter wether or not you're adopted if your adoptive parents love you, that's all that matters. Some biological parents are truly horrid people, so maybe it's better to be adopted to a caring family, than to be forced into a careless one.

I'm adopted. I've known my whole life I am. For me it hasn't changed a single thing. I love my parents so much. And I'm glad that I am adopted.

For some people it might not matter but to others, the emotional burden of knowing their biological parents didn't want them affects them for the rest of their lives. Everyone is different but the most important thing is that you have at least one set of parents that love you.

124, Your sister wasn't adopted! She was kidnapped! It is not the same and It's offensive that you're implying it is!

My father was adopted. He knew his biological parents and if they had not given him up, he would have been screwed up like the rest of that family. My grandparents, his adoptive parents, gave him nothing but love and kindness. Without them, he wouldn't have been the amazing person he was. Adoption isn't a bad thing.

I apologise, reading 108 when I just woke up really confused me :- reading it back makes sense haha sorry :)

I specifically said never assume you know the full situation and there you go, flying off the handle. I'm not saying kidnapping and adoption are the same. I'm damn sure not putting my full family history out here but you can be kidnapped and adopted - just think for a minute before you get all butthurt. My point is simply that adopted doesn't mean biological parents didn't want you.

Or maybe the sister was kidnapped, left at an orphanage by the kidnappers, and then adopted by a nice family who assumed the people that had abandoned her were her biological parents. Don't you watch Lifetime? ;)

Yes, because that happens soooo often...

165: You already started spilling the tea. By bringing it up you're making it seem like there's a connection between the two, when in fact there isn't.

165: Some thoughts just sound better in our minds.

I'm adopted and it's not bad at all :) I've had my moments where I've broken down coming to terms with it but it has made me a much better person.

And to clarify, my birth mom gave me up because she was young and couldn't take care of me and wanted a better life for me. She knew that she could not provide for me properly and knew that a family looking for a kid would be prepared and could take care of me the way she would have wanted for me.

Hail Cthulhu Hail Cthulhu Hail Cthulhu Hail Cthulhu

That's a sucky way to find out...

Yeah I have no fucking clue how your parents handled keeping that from you all those years when they couldn't even handle a stupid situation like that.

I think what's worse is finding out you're not considered to be a member of the family by some other members. That's a hefty double blow.

She couldn't figure it out when she was white and her parents were Asian? Two Wongs don't make a white! Ok that was so bad I'm gonna go kill myself now

I'm sorry you had to find out like that OP

I'm sorry. But am I missing something here??? How does it imply that you are adopted?? Kinda confused here. Someone please explain????

OP is not considered family because the uncle didn't share the family secret recipe for salad dressing, implying only family members by blood can learn this. The awkward silence and shocked expression support this.

Dear goodness, 62, you only need one question mark at the end of every question.

So lemme get this straight. Any time someone says "family secret" and there's an awkward silence, someone is adopted? That's f'ing retarded. That in no way implies adopted.

99 here. The first sentence starts with op finding shes adopted. Her uncle's remark signified that the family recipe was only for blood relatives. The parents then had a "HOLY FUCK" expression signifying that op is indeed not blood related. If you still dont understand, i recommend you go see a doctor.

99, what's retarded is you. The fact that there was an awkward silence was not what means OP was adopted, that's the way OP found out. It's an FML because OP did not know he/she was adopted, and also because he/she had to find out like that. Edit: looks like I was beaten to it. Feel free to ignore me..

I'd say the uncle didn't even mean blood relatives, he probably meant his immediate family and ops parents were a bit too stupid. you know by the sounds of things I'm a little surprised they didn't accidentally blurt it out whilst drunk!

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I almost missed it too. Just read it again and pay attention to the first sentence :P

Uh... what? Even without the first sentence, it doesn't take a genius to figure it out.

OP thought they were a part of the biological family, but when they inquired about the food their uncle told them it was a secret family recipe. That pretty much clued OP in that they weren't related biologically to him or anyone else.

he's saying that it's a secret family recipe so he can't tell him. only FAMILY members can know the recipe. OP not brin allowed to know makes him not part of the family. that's a sad way to find out. ????

But just saying it was a family secret doesnt mean she wasnt part of the family. Saying "its a family secret therefore u must not know" would clue her in

you know, I think the uncle probably meant his immediate family as in his wife and kids. op's parents just made it worse. what a crap way to find out!

69 - OP is female. I also just wanted to reply because you're comment #69.

Well the parent suck at keeping a straight face and acting all cool. I'm surprised you didn't find out sooner. And to be honest I would not have gotten this. I would have assumed the uncle was talking about just his wife, and kids family. Not nephews and everyone else.

Which makes no sense I'm not adopted and my family has a secret family recipe for steak marinate that they won't tell anyone.

I dont get it either . just because it's a secret family recipe doesn't mean she's not a part of the family. this fml is stupid.

My family also has a lot of secret family recipes that they have yet to pass down to the next generation. Unfortunately OPs parents weren't good at covering the uncle's slip up.

110 is the biggest dumbass in this thread. Sorry.

Op found out he is adopted and he will never know the secret salad dressing

I don't either

158 - LOL. Give 110 a break, she way only 13 years old when she wrote that comment. :P

I don't see how it matters. It looks like your parents care about you a lot.

not speaking from experience but finding out your adopted even by the most loving couple in the world is a pretty big revelation, especially if you have no clue!

If I ever adopted children, I wouldn't hide it from them until they were that old :( I'd make sure they knew as they were growing up that I had chosen to raise them, even though I wasn't their biological mommy, because I loved them. I'm sorry you had to find out at your age, OP. I know you must have been very upset.

I'm adopted and that's exactly how my parents did it. They told me my whole life that they adopted me right after I was born because my birth mom was 15. I grew up knowing and I've never felt insecure or unwanted. My parents told me early to make sure I didn't feel like they were lying to me--OP's parents created this problem themselves by not being open and honest. You're obviously loved though, OP. hang in there!

I'm also adopted! My parents also adopted three other kids. I always knew, too. It wasn't really a secret and I had no problem telling people but I dont like when people said it for me. (ie my dad telling everyone)

My husband and I gave a child up for adoption when we were 20 and 21. She has wonderful parents that have made sure she knows how loved she is by everyone. While I can't imagine how OP feels, everyone has a tactless family member that is just a dumbass. I hope OP's parents immediately did some serious "family talking."

46 I really hope you didn't give your child up. It's a pet peeve of mine so I need to exploit it. I prefer the phrase "placed for adoption" whenever I hear given up, I feel like the child was unwanted. I had two older sisters in Romania. I'm hoping I wasnt given up, but placed in adoption for a better life.

51, I don't think "giving up a child" equates uncaring parents. It's just a common term here and I seriously doubt ANYONE with a conscience doesn't think about their child after they are placed. I like to think my birth mom was in a tight spot and wanted me to have better than she had, just like 46 and her husband.

59- I just think word choice is important.

68 - I think their wording was great. When I hear "placed up for adoption" I think of parents who don't care. However when I hear "given up" I think of a parent who cared enough to give that child a chance at a better home. Regardless of whatever expression you or I choose to use, it's not very tactful to correct someone's choice of words who had to make a decision as tough as that one could be.

Well you think differently. I respect that. However I've had 18 years of hearing it. Giving away versus lovingly placing. Again, I respect your opinion and stuff.

To be honest, I'd feel like I'd be wanted more when being adopted because your parents are wanting a kid to raise and love. Rather than it being an "oops we're financially and romantically stable I GUESS we'll have this kid" situation I was in. I don't know- just my two cents.

I think it should be prohibited for parents who use pony avatars in internetz to adopt children

96- 7 isn't even an adult. -.-

91- it's my secret to tell. Yes. I am petty. I'm seventeen it's 430am. Let me have my opinion. And I don't care if it's tasteless. You could say the same about your comment; or anyone's for that matter. If you don't like the taste then don't eat it. Obviously mine was just tasty enough to have you want to add your two sense. I wasnt judging anyone or putting them down. I disagreed with something. I'm allowed to do that. I don't think I did it by sounding very nasty. If I did I apologise.

I'm going to adopt so many Japanese children. It will be glorious.

96- I'm 17 and as of right now I'm not planning on having children at all (neither adopted nor otherwise). Whether that changes due to financial/home situation as I get older remains to be seen. I really don't think it's fair of you to make judgements of me based on the picture I chose to share. What do my likes and dislikes have to do with how qualified I am to adopt children later?

I was adopted and told when I was five it must be better like me than u

Wow! Pardon me.... I/we PLACED our daughter for adoption. That isn't accurate though. I didn't place her in an anonymous setting. I/we GAVE her to her wonderful parents at the hospital. It was great! I (and my hubby) bawled and had a rough few years. Now, 12+ years later, we are at peace and hope our child is at peace. Again, I'm really sorry for OP to have such a brutal situation for sharing such a personal fact. I hope details were cut from this post.

this is exactly what my mom says she'll do if she adopts.

That's when you bust out the awkward turtle to the rescue. Or be less clever and show boobs. When its awkward, show boobs. Always works. (And jazz hands, but not in this situation)

Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?

I don't think they even know what they are talking about anymore .

I felt...a disturbance. As if millions of brain cells all cried out in terror, and then it was silent. I feel dumber already.

I believe it would work its not incest.

I dont know...I might have done the jazz hands.

Aw sad. Sorry OP. But really that is your family since they've raised you and all. Hopefully you'll be let in on these family secrets ;)

I'm sorry you had to find out like this OP! It was wrong of your parents to hide it from you. I hope you guys talked it out though!