Today, I found out that my best friend pays my boyfriend to this day to take me out. FML

Today, I found out that my "girlfriend" is only with me for free transportation. She even has my contact saved as the car emoji. FML

Make it stop

Today, my next door neighbor took up playing the flute as a new hobby. Unfortunately, he's very enthusiastic about actually practising it. It's been 3 hours and counting. FML

Here comes trouble

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's new friend is actually her "replacement". They met a few months ago, and she's really cool, we share the same interests, it's nice to spend time with her, etc., but my girlfriend planned to break up with me and "trained" her because she doesn't want me to be lonely. FML

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

Kinda sus

Today, my boyfriend informed me that since he's doing a project with a girl in his class and carpooling with her in the morning, she'll be sleeping over at his house. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

Run for the hills

Today, I realized that my girlfriend and I have no shared hobbies. We used to. She's stopped doing them with me and instead does them with someone else. No worries, he's "just a friend", although she did tell me she has a crush on him. But "nothing's going to happen" because "he doesn't feel the same". FML

Friends?

Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML

Today, I bought my girlfriend two tickets to a Broadway show that was coming through town she really wanted to see. I couldn't attend with her due to work so she said she would take her mom. I found out later she took her ex. Now they're back together, and I paid for the date that made it happen. FML