Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML
Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, my new neighbours moved in. I had always thought my bedroom wall was soundproof, because my old neighbours never complained about my loud night terrors. Turns out they were just stone deaf. The new ones can hear everything. FML
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML
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Top comments
WateryAsh 0
O.O
bigotcretin 0
LOL and fyl for sure but dont be surprised about how often guys jerk off about and what about, you were just a little more aware about it happening
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Comments (317)
d_fml_r89 0
LOL #25! just creep him out the next few times you hear it and avoid him in the laundry room, you'll be fine
TheLittlestNinja 0
you should get some self defense training.
ShelbyG 0
Opps there was no typo....Okay ive commented on this way too much.
Everlost 0
you heard that :( I try keep it down next time.
mattmag 0
Sorry about that... I'll try to keep it down.
jakeisgay3397 0
i just came.
a2495 0
Make sex noises when he goes to sleep. Keep him up all night with that. After a while, he'll get pissed at you, and yank it over someone else.
Crummie 0
lmaoooooo oh god. HILARIOUS
jollyholly414 0
eewy...that's gross
lesp 6
Buy a baseball bat and hit stuff like your bed or a duffel bag full of clothes repeatedly while screaming his name one night. I'd be scared as hell after that.