Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
The sound of silence
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML
Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML
MY EARS! MY EARS!
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Vicariously
Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML
Sort yourselves out
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
YELP!
Today, my new neighbours moved in. I had always thought my bedroom wall was soundproof, because my old neighbours never complained about my loud night terrors. Turns out they were just stone deaf. The new ones can hear everything. FML
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Noise annoys
Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML
Top comments
WateryAsh 0
O.O
bigotcretin 0
LOL and fyl for sure but dont be surprised about how often guys jerk off about and what about, you were just a little more aware about it happening
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Comments (317)
LordLayAlot 0
wow...**** his life, he has problems. Hasn't he heard of ****? (I would say prostitutes, but I'd like to spare them from having sex with a creep like this)
Guyoverhere 0
Cowincidence? I can't spell xD
24788 7
Just remember never to turn your back on him.
Capnstinkfoot 0
Fake but funny lmfao
ihfpfml 0
#81 polls say that like 97% of guys do it. And 3% are compulsive liars. I think 87% was the number they put up for women. Apparently women are more likely to lie to an anonymous pollster than men.
jeri2011 0
A lot of guys ********** while thinking of girls/guys they want to 'do it' with. The only way this constitutes for him being a creep is if he knew you could hear him. But nevertheless FYL for having to sleep next door to a guy who masturbates at the image of you. Just stay away from him.
Rawrrr14 0
Well, possibly flattering? But, creepy as well.... consider moving?
silly_kate 0
um........congratulations? like many posters have said before me, bang on the wall and yell 'I CAN HEAR YOU, DUDE! NOT COOL!' you should take it as a compliment, at least he doesn't want to kill you.
Kitty34_fml 0
There are a lot of people with your name, I'm sure. And I doubt he said you first AND last name while masturbating. Quite full of yourself.
kewlz323 0
ummm that's not scary at all if i was you i would run away far away