put on loud music which will make your neighbor install better insulation :D

OP- I just did that right now... :D

could be worse, at least you didn't hear him taking a massive dump, and you better pray he's a quiet masturbator lol

thats funny !!! :P

fyl

it's just the better felling ever.. to take a massive pee after holding up for hours..

OP, make your neighbour realize the walls are thin & you can hear everything, by, I don't know.. telling him? Or just have loud sex. :D

the man needed to go!

this isn't a fml op its funny. good luck with you're apartment!

At least it wasn't a solid! :D

at least your neighbor doesn't have loud akward sex upstairs the bed making rhythmic creaking sounds....

Yes, she should move. I wonder what she'll be hearing when he takes a shit.

I found this funny because your neighbor finds taking a piss relaxing. I find it a waste of 30 seconds.

why? because the image of a normal person peeing isn't bad? nice fetish you have there!

*snowballs chance in hell of getting laid. Whoops How the hell does what I said, lead you to believe I have a fetish of any kind? Do not reply to my comments with your non-sense! Go back to your hole. You may come back out when you're able to comprehend. G'day!

a hairy bald guy? a guy whos bald and has a hairy dick??????

FFML_314, if you don't want the neighbour to be a "a lonely, creepy, old, fat, hairy, bald man with a snowballs chance of hell getting laid", you indirectly say you wouldn't mind if it were a normal person.

OR a hairy chest.... We will just leave that one up to the imagination. No, what I was really trying to say, in a lot more words than necessary WAS "be glad you don't have to listen to him have sex"

well, if you can't stand comments like mine, you better be clear in your posts :)

aldfjalfjalkfjlfkjaf *is *is *is I meant is! Still, the point of my post is OBVIOUS! Get off my kool-aid, Lady Silhouette! Edit: On the contrary, I thoroughly enjoy a good banter with a stranger.

But he hates the hole : (

Anna, I think you are mistaken. You WANT them to drink the kool-aid.

Yes, the kool-aid in this nice pitcher labeled "Don't drink me" It's idiot proof.

So if I do drink it, will I shrink down until I'm small enough to go under the door?

Didn't I kill you? What the hell?

Hey, about that... I'm a free bitch, baby.

My dicks huge.

No, it's not. You just have really small hands, so it looks big.

4, you said hope he has no chance of getting laid, and then in 23 you say to be glad he's not having sex; I'm confused. And how do you know the neighbor isn't some perverted 80 year old pornstar or something?

You know I'm going to tell you a little story. One day Jimmy was walking past Mr. Jennings house, he heard a scream and was curious. He stopped and peeked in the window and saw Mr. Jennings shoot his wife in the chest. Jimmy was shocked at what he was seeing! He saw the man turn his head and thought for a second "Did he see me?" Jimmy ducked and started running. He knew in his heart, the wife was dead. The next day, he saw Mr. Jennings and his wife sitting on the swing together, arm and arm. He smiled and thought "How could I ever think someone would do that?" I hope that cleared up any confusion.

I hate girl who talk like that... get off my kool aid? WTF are you black nope you're white!

White girls can't say Kool-Aid? You're racist.

WTF is kook aid is that the prick jumping through walls saying " oh yeah" in family guy?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That last comment made my day. Thank you! Yes, Pendatik I think we have found ourselves on unfamiliar ground. I'm going to suggest a fast escape, before things get out of control and we end up on a milk carton. *Runs out of the shed*

Thanks. You could have just run with me! I'm sad to say this, but unfortunately no matter how far or fast we run, the idiots will be all around us. *Cries in my alphabet soup*

surrounded by idiots? most posts on this FML come from you, darling :)

I don't think the boob above you is aware of the 700+ FML stories, filled with 100s of comments. Calling me darling makes me feel like a cheap ***** and I'm /not/ cheap. It is contagious. I feel my brain melting.

FFML, that last comment made me guffaw, and I don't do that too often. Thanks for that.

*Wipes hands* My job here is done. Who's coming with me?

Incidentally, my hose shoots Kool-Aid. Oooh yeaaaah! Anna, snowball's*. Or snowballs' *. >.<

that would only work if he happens to take a leak while you're inspecting the place. most shithole apartments aren't visibly shitholes until a few days after living there. :( FYL op!