Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed I have more alcohol in my fridge than I do actual food. FML
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, I noticed that I'm way more productive when I'm drinking than when I'm not. I think I just figured out why I'm related to so many alcoholics. FML
Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML
Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML
Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Today, my best friend had the balls to call me an alcoholic. She snuck vodka on a cruise ship in a Listerine bottle. I've never had a drink. FML
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Top comments
tygerarmy 35
Well clearly it's time to stop.. watering down your drinks with so much ice.
Ashamed_Sister 60
You simply might be an ice lover, not an alcoholic.
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Comments (64)
alycion 39
Just make sure not to abuse your SO like you abuse your ice maker by calling an ex and confessing your undying love.
perdix 31
#18, or maybe avoid confessing your love of your wine chiller in front of your current ice-maker? Asocial Douche strikes again!
oj101 33
Ice makers are pretty temperamental.
sinn3r76 9
Drink BEER no ice required
strawberrywine22 30
Since when?? Warm beer is foul!
strawberrywine22 30
Edit: I just realized I was dumb when I replied. I thought you meant beer was okay warm, for some reason it didn't occur to me that I drink plenty of cold beer without ice, lol!
Kylienne 5
Practically all of Europe drinks warm beer: it can't be THAT bad.
Kylienne 5
Of course not. Would 'room temperature' or 'cool' be a more accurate description?
sinn3r76 9
I would think he'll be smart enough to get it cold before drinking
harrieslinger 17
Cheers mate!
icemand90 17
alcoholics go to meetings, you sir, are a drunk. its ok, we are a merry bunch :)
LaLince 40
Buy a bigger ice-maker.
hienzburgess 9
partie dai n niteee !
Enslaved 38
Time to buy a few bags of ice. ***Personally, I have an ice addiction problem too. I'm so picky about my ice that my filtered ice maker at home still won't do. Hate those cloudy half moon shape ones! All my drinks must have what I call "good ice". In other words, the store bought kind. :P
GothickNihilist 15
I'm so glad , that I am not the only picky person when it comes to ice . Just something about perfect filtered ice, that makes whatever you're drinking taste so much better!
vde_fml 15
If you have realised it, then it's gonna be ok.