Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed I have more alcohol in my fridge than I do actual food. FML
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, I noticed that I'm way more productive when I'm drinking than when I'm not. I think I just figured out why I'm related to so many alcoholics. FML
Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML
Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML
Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Today, my best friend had the balls to call me an alcoholic. She snuck vodka on a cruise ship in a Listerine bottle. I've never had a drink. FML
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Top comments
tygerarmy 35
Well clearly it's time to stop.. watering down your drinks with so much ice.
Ashamed_Sister 60
You simply might be an ice lover, not an alcoholic.
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Comments (64)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I honestly can't comprehend why FMLs like this get less YDI votes than FMLs about someone saying they're even a little overweight. Both are problems, both are hard to fix. Yet one group gets extended sympathy? I just don't understand how anyone could drink so much that they get to the point of an addiction. I've never had a drink in my life apart from very small samples, all of which tasted horrible FYI, and it's beyond me why some people intentionally drink to the point of losing memories of what happened while they were drunk. Yet those people get sympathy from others while the people who aren't the size of a chopstick get ridiculed for being fat, when in reality there aren't that many differences between the two situations. Sorry OP, but I have to go with YDI on this one; you could easily control yourself and stop drinking, problem solved. Heavy people have to do a lot more than stop eating to whittle down to a size deemed acceptable and "beautiful" by society. They have it much harder, yet they get ostracized and criticized more. It's simple - stop buying wine/alcohol and you won't have to drink it. Thirsty? Try some water, lemonade, tea, soda, juice, anything but alcohol. There are plenty of choices out there...
jazalea8 16
Not everyone likes alcohol. There are some who like the taste, even with small samples. If you were not an alcoholic, you might not understand. I do think people who are overweight do not need to be put down, but they are two different things. Apples to Oranges. Once someone is trying to weed off of alcohol, it could kill them if they go cold turkey. Don't believe me, look it up. Alcohol withdrawals is the only addiction that will kill someone cold turkey. Both alcoholics and overweight people need encouragement. It looks different too. It is also a personal choice on both ends.
Helldemon 32
She's probably a fat woman. Oh alcohol addiction is easy and you can stop just like that. Being fat is impossible and oh so hard to not eat as much anymore and overcome.
dodzin 9
Gotta check you blood sugar
CaptnNorway 10
Stop useing ice then ... What's the problem?
chosha_fml 27
NUMBER of drinks, or are you too drunk for grammarising?
ajh557 22
My ice maker can't handle the amount of water I drink
Brak_Spaceman 19
Drink 'em neat.
blackwidowtaco 31
Step 1 is admitting you have a problem..
ADBurns 22
OP - I would say it depends on a number of things. 1. How many ice cubes were there? 2. How many times do you do this in a week? 3. Did you have good company and the conversation, as well as the drink, flowed? Being British and living in a very hot country - I have a similar problem to you but I don't think its alcoholism :)