Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed I have more alcohol in my fridge than I do actual food. FML
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, I noticed that I'm way more productive when I'm drinking than when I'm not. I think I just figured out why I'm related to so many alcoholics. FML
Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML
Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML
Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Today, my best friend had the balls to call me an alcoholic. She snuck vodka on a cruise ship in a Listerine bottle. I've never had a drink. FML
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Top comments
tygerarmy 35
Well clearly it's time to stop.. watering down your drinks with so much ice.
Ashamed_Sister 60
You simply might be an ice lover, not an alcoholic.
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Comments (64)
jlynpa 10
I think what you need is one of those industrial frozen Drink makers to cure your "problem";) Mai tais anyone? It'll keep up!
StEpHiE1226 12
This happens at my house too. After my AA meetings we found a liquor store that sells bags of ice!
finch01 18
u just need a faster one...
Schiffy 18
Sounds more like a patience problem than an alcohol problem....
whY402Jay 12
Not necessarily an alcoholic. Trust me. It also depends on what you wer drinking and why.
seacadet 18
As an Irishman... I consider this a win.
stevothedevo 25
Time for AA??
Xotoolyxo 16
At least you realized it before someone had to tell you
martinfml 8
You're not alone.
outoftown 27
One more step, OP: "Today, I found out I AM an alcoholic." My condolences to your icemaker.