Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML
Today, I found out I’m pregnant and got excited. We’d never discussed kids before since we’ve only been dating a year, but I was so happy… until I told him, and his face just fell. I left after he drank himself unconscious and I’m now at my mum's house FML
Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, and since I found out that I'm pregnant, I've been sober. I used to smoke weed to help with me depression and anxiety, but now I can't even take prescription medicine for it. I'm about to throw hands at this point. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Lioness8197 18
You really picked a winner:) Good luck and congrats!
elk21dbm 18
Congratulations on the baby!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (153)
tbenson0628 14
Hey. That does kinda suck but, he's probably super scared. and like everyone else is saying, partying it up one last time! parenthood is not easy. if only women could do that when we find out we're pregnant without causing harmful effects. cuz I would if i could after I ever found out I was pregnant. the thought is terrifying.
MikeyScene420 17
Thumbs up if you toke! :D
Livestrong14 7
Your future seems bright.
taybay23 13
His way of celebrating maybe?
twiztedone 19
I know who's waking up with the baby the first 6 months and going to get you things at 3am even if you don't really want it!
diving_fml 30
at least he came home....
female_troller 12
He's certainly a keeper. Congrats though!
xsarax_fml 10
congrats!! and don't worry he just probably needed a last hoorah before the kid came to get it out of his system. haha
redmnky21 8
you must be a real catch lol
maggySNP 12
Reminds me of the film Knocked Up