Today, I found out I'm allergic to my wife's new medicated handcream after I came down with a nasty, itchy rash on my chest, stomach, cock, and balls. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I am violently allergic to my boyfriend's new hand cream. I know this because after last night's quickie on the sofa, I now have a rash all over my skin and weeping sores inside my vagina and around my bum hole. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I got a new skin cream for my acne. I tested it on a small patch of skin just to make sure I wasn't allergic. I was, and the reaction didn't stay on that small patch of skin. My left arm is now almost entirely covered in a horrible rash. FML
Today, I found out I'm allergic to the pills my doctor prescribed for coughing, which I really need because I ripped a muscle in my stomach. Now my whole upper body is covered in a terrible itchy rash. I also found out it will last for at least another week. FML
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML
Today, I found out my ex gave me an STI. Today I also found out I'm allergic to the medication. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my wife frantically saying something about her having scabies, and that I had to take her to the ER. It turned out to be eczema. FML
Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML
Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML
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Top comments
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Hey at least your wife touches your balls!
MomentoMori 23
Now you need some medicated cream of your own. Good luck.
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Comments (46)
morghandi 21
Always patch-test new cosmetics and lotions before applying liberally. ;)
ham_spam 17
On your chicken huh?
HotFrosty 14
The flames of passion burn hot... And long.
Denny1988 19
on the bright side, it's a good thing she doesn't try to milk your prostate during oral
mattrd_fml 31
Next time use a non-medicated lotion or a water-based personal lubricant when taking care of business.
DemonBoy1988 22
Sounds like someone received a full treatment
oteran 6
I don't think it was her hand cream that gave you an itch and rash you should probably go to a hospital and get tested